Apologies and clarifications

Beloved Readers, both folks and people alike;

I broke my own rule, and, for the first time ever, wrote a blog post that mentioned my mother. I wrote about some negative things that happened at the Christmas Day gathering at her house and I didn't write about anything nice and it upset her. I think she reads and hopes that I will mention her and I never do and then the one time I ever did, it was to relate some frustrations I had over the electronic gifts we got our kids this year and nothing else positive was said.

I am not sure if this will be considered too little, too late but we did have fun over there. The kids were happy to see everyone, the house looked splendid as usual, the lights display was the best in the neighborhood, and the present exchange went really well, very smoothly, and we had tasty snacks. Their entire basement has been redone by my step father and it is a playworld of fun and a lovely room to be in, built in fish tank and working kitchen and everything, even a train track you can really ride on. We even got to see her amazing beautiful cat, who usually hides when kids come around, but showed her face for the Holiday, much to the delight of all 7 grandkids who have never ever seen such a fancy kitty.

My sister did ask me about my pregnancy and it was great to see her little 3 month old baby girl who is growing so fast, as well as her 2 other sweet children who I wanted to sneak into my van and take home, I miss them so much.

I am writing this entry to not only clarify that good times were had at Mom's, but for a more important clarification, one that will hopefully mean a lot to straighten out lots of misunderstandings for my mom, and for anyone else who may wonder, so here goes:

When I say "Folks", "People", or "My friends and Family", I do not mean my mother. Repeat: When I say things about "Folks", "People", or "My friends and Family", I do not mean my mother.

I have a pretty good sized bunch of friends in my life, some gone, some here to stay. I also have a decent sized family, with a Mother, a Step-Father, a Mother-in-Law, a Father-In-Law, a Grandmother, 1 uncle, 2 Aunts, and several Aunts and Uncles-in-law, a sister and brother in law, and a brother and sister in law---so the one time last spring that I referred to "My Family" on the Breast and Belly blog, it was this extended group to whom I was referring, not Mom.
I will continue to blog in '08 and I hope that many people can get something out of what it is that I have to say and that I choose to share. I made the decision on pretty much my 2nd blog entry ever to make this be so much more than just a little update-y diary of what we have been up to lately, as I find those sort of boring to read and more importantly, just not what lit my fire. Sure, there will be lots of entries about field trips or sick days, but in the vein of HipMama, Bust, Home Education Magazine, Ready Made, Etsy.com, Mothering, and so many more publications that inspire and enlighten me, I try to put out a product that will resonate with folks much more than a dry "report" or Newsletter would.

The best writers will have the most critics, and I have never shied away from criticism or disagreement--but I also never mean to go too far and hurt or attack anyone personally. Thats not cool and I would not appreciate it if it were done to me. That being said, I do not live in a void, I live in a world of people, I come from a family, I have friends, and (hopefully!) daily interactions with human beings from whom my experience is gleaned and my path continues on as a result of these relationships. So when I refer to my life and its experiences, FOLKS and PEOPLE will come up, probably alot. It is not some secret code for "mom", it truly is not.

I do not see my mother very often, and it has been this way for a long time. So the vast majority of my adult experiences do not involve her. Most of my stories, even the ones that include "family" are not about her. I now know that she was hurt by what I wrote, and that is why I am writing this. I forget who reads and I tried to put my frustrating Christmas experience out there, imagining, as I always do, that other moms, other readers, other homeschoolers, homebirthers, homemakers, DIY-ers out there might understand, might see their own experiences through mine, might not feel so alone. I was not trying to shame her or the Christmas party that she threw for us.

Working towards a wonderful new year of blogging!
Thank you for reading!
Mama Joy

Toy Land Joy

Do you love it, do you love it, do you love it???? On the day after birthday, Christmas, Hanukkah, anything, it feels so great. All the pressure is past, and all the memories and new toys are here, signaling in ideas of a whole new life, a whole new start. Perfect timing if you ask me-- as we are in for 4 to 5 months of a loong Michigan winter followed by 2 months of mud and then a new baby--and playing with the angry cat and the broken crayons was getting extremely sad and boring.

I moved around 2 rooms already since 8pm last night and have big plans for more changes. I love to move furniture, I love it I love I love it. We really got such winning stuff this year, we really put alot of thought into what will be FUN and for the first time ever we bought stuff well ahead of time, and I have a job, and my Grandma sent us a very unexpected check. What do we want to be cooped up with all winter, homeschoolers with "no car" and a pregnant mom? Well now, we have GeoTrax for the kids to build, all new playdoh soft and fresh, electronic handheld thingies that we got amazing secret deals on through Ebay and friends of friends and resale shops, crafty stuff and building stuff and Eyeclops and books and ummm did I fail to mention that Santa Claus brought us a ROLLER COASTER and a Nintendo Wii? I am not kidding and I couldn't be more happy about this. Our house really was boring and now it really is fun. I can't wait to have friends over as soon as I tidy up some!!!

The kids have been running and jumping and rolling and boxing and bowling and sweating and asking me for "more water!" all morning while I slowly, slowly begin the process of being a wife and mother again, putting this pit sty of a house back together after 3 months of working and being pregnant and a semi-broken washer (you have to be there to switch each "mode" but we just figured out how to "rig" it 2 days ago so it has been one busy washer!) I am off work all this week and only work one night next week, so I am gonna be a full time Mom and Wife and person and all hopes are quite high for "getting it together", my absolute favorite and yet very unobtainable lately goal.

We have people to invite over and things to do and places to go and I am really trying hard to overcome the lingering nausea and tiredness because as good as it feels to lay in the couch, it is starting to feel even better to be a person and not a zombie. (I recently saw a TShirt that came in toddler sizes up to Mens XXL that said "I survived the first trimester" and I so, so understood)

So, here's to a great Christmas, here's to getting this sty back together for New Years and here's to feeling super happy about STUFF, THINGS, and MATERIAL POSSESSIONS. It really is okay to have great fun toys and to enjoy them! Off to go see if I can beat Casey at Wii-Boxing, he is undefeated in our family and it really gets my heartrate up (although lately, so does walking, sitting up, making another sandwich....)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

From our family to yours, we wish you the very happiest and healthiest holiday season, and an enthusiastically wonder-filled New Year!

How will you "handle" FIVE kids?

Yawn.
After a certain amount of experience with living with many children, this question goes from right-on, to vaguely insulting, to totally irrelevant. I have lived with 4 children since 2002, when The kids in my daily care were Greta (5), Mickey (2), A (4) and G (1). Four little kids, two mine and two I babysat fulltime 5 days a week from prebreakfast until dinnertime.

Two months into this gig, I got pregnant with Casey! I would throw up everytime I changed the almost non-stop diapers, I was sicker than a dog, and yet the show went on. Lets realize that, VERY unlike my life now, this was a time of Four kids who used sippy cups, took naps, used diapers or needed bathroom assitance. Four kids who couldnt always "use their words"or hold a crayon right, in a small cluttered house with a Daddy who didnt get home until 7pm (9pm on Thursdays). If there was anytime to ask me "how do you do it" it would have been then.

But now, my kids are alot older. I have a much bigger house and daytime friends. I have one in diapers and all the rest deal with their business. I dunno. I just dont feel the freak-out whatsoever this time as far as fear of the new baby or whatever.

Going from one child to two REALLY was a mind blowing change, and going from 2 to 3 children was when we felt like we had "alot of little ones". It was hard when Charlie was born because I had a very very extended postpartum recovery time, but four kids was something I was used to by then.

The funny thing is, for me, it is the pregnancy that is so hard. Not the babies. It is the mothering while very incapacitated that is so frustrating and exhausting and discouraging and disheartening, not the other stuff, not the messes, the crying, the stages, the teething--because when I am a strong and healthy Mom, I can handle that stuff, plus usually keep appointments, commitments, a nice house and have 3 hot meals on the table, too.

I remember once when Steve and I met up with his parents for a day at the zoo, and I was about 6 or 7 months pregnant with Casey. We only had 5 year old Greta and 2 year old Mickey, and everything was going fine, when one of them whined a tiny bit about something and my father in law said "What're you gonna do with THREE of em?" I looked right at him and said "I wont be pregnant! It will be fantastic! Plus I have four of them all day as it is". He had forgotten that I was doing the fulltime daycare, I guess. He had never experienced walking around a zoo with a lead boulder crushing out your entire innards, I guess. He was just trying to say those 'clever' things people say on TV when they dont really feel comfortable talking to you, I guess. Thats the way alot of people speak to each other all the time. He just chuckled and looked nervous that I might say the word pregnant again. He's pretty old-school and I try to respect that.

So, when my dear baby joins the Maplelawn Home Academy, there will be much rejoicing. For all the obvious reasons, and for Mommy isnt pregnant anymore, too. I know there is sleep deprivation with a new baby, and I would be insane to downplay the seriousness of that, but pregnancy is not exactly a good-sleepin time for me, never has been. Between violent calf cramps/spasms, back and hip pain, lack of air, nausea, outlandish dreams, restless leg syndrome, extreme heartburn, and the incessant peeing, I just dont get when the sleeping can really occur. I will leave out the pregnancies when I still have a night nursing tot or a little one who likes to get up at 5 am.

Except during the daytime, then oh God do I wanna sleep. I want to sleep in the library, I want to sleep in the grocery store, I want to sleep at work (and did once! LOL) I want to sleep at red lights (so bad) Then I bet, if given the golden opportunity for daytime sleep, ooooh I could sleep 14 hours straight. Oh yeah, except for the every two hours peeing part. Ok, never mind.

Monday December 10th

Working on cards
Greta sewed a hat for Kitty!
Charlie uses glue when we sew.

Mickey sewing a shirt for his toy monkey.

So, I am "out" with the pregnancy news now, and hope you can now fill in the blanks as to why I haven't been blogging. Between work and scraping myself together for the children. sitting down to write has been way down on this list. As i enter the 2nd trimester, I feel myself becoming alot more my old self and that is very very welcome.

Of course, homeschool is happening, learning is happening, our math curriculum is a big success, and we always spend alot of December with various scouting Christmas parties, working on handmade gifts, and baking. I will be honest and say we haven't really baked lately as the kitchen is a scary place that has all sorts of smells and imagery that keeps pregnant Mama at bay...but we did have a one big cookie day with our homeschooling friends a couple of weeks ago and it was really fun!

We have family gatherings, birthday parties, skating rink trip, Girl Scout party and somehow, shopping all to do. Like everyone else. Except we share a car and work 'round the clock and I am starting to panic just a smidge about how this is all gonna happen this year with the one car and me working. Sundays? Oh well. Once January comes, it will be 4+ months of cold cold cold and school school school and so it all balances out.

If you're a homeschooler, you will really, really get this!

An oldie but a goodie: (from my homeschool yahoo group this morning)
(tune of "THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS") The 14 Days ofHomeschooling
On the first day of homeschool my neighbor said to me,"Can you homeschool legally?"

On the second day of homeschool my neighbor said to me,"Are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?"

On the third day of homeschool my neighbor said to me,"Do you give them tests, are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?"

On the fourth day of home school my neighbor said to me,"What about P.E., do you give them tests, are theysocialized, can you homeschool legally?"

On the fifth day of home school my neighbor said to me, "YOU ARE SO STRANGE! What about P.E., do you givethem tests, are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?"

On the Sixth day of home school my neighbor said to me, "How long will you homeschool, YOU 'RE SO STRANGE,what about P.E., do you give them tests, are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?"

On the seventh day of home school my neighbor said to me, "Look at what they're missing, how long will you homeschool, YOU ARE SO STRANGE!, what about P.E., do you give them tests, are they socialized, do you homeschool legally?"

On the eighth day of home school my neighbor said to me, "Why do you do this, look at what they're missing,how long will you home school, YOU ARE SO STRANGE, what about P.E. do you give them tests, are theysocialized, do you homeschool legally?"

On the ninth day of home school my neighbor said to me,"They'll miss the prom, why do you do this, look atwhat they're missing, how long will you home school,YOU 'RE SO STRANGE!, what about P.E., do you give them tests, are they socialized, do you homeschool legally?"

On the tenth day of home school my neighbor said to me, "What about graduation, they'll miss the prom, why do you do this, look at what they're missing, how long will you home school, YOU ARE SO STRANGE!,what about P.E., do you give them tests, are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?"

On the eleventh day of home school my neighbor said tome, "I could never do that, what about graduation,they'll miss the prom, why do you do this, look atwhat they're missing, how long will you homeschool, YOU ARE SO STRANGE, what about P.E. do you give them tests, are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?"

On the twelfth day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, "Can they go to college, I could never do that,what about graduation, they'll miss the prom, why do you do this, look at what they're missing, how long will you homeschool, YOU ARE SO STRANGE, What about P.E., do you give them tests, are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?"

On the thirteenth day of homeschool I thoughtfully replied:"They can go to college, yes you can do this, and they can graduate, we don't need the prom, we do it cuz we like it, they aren't missing anything, we'll homeschool forever, WE'RE NOT STRANGE!, We give them P.E., life it self's a test, they are socialized, AND WE HOMESCHOOL LEGALLY!

On the fourteenth day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, "How can I get started, why didn't you tell me,where do I buy curriculum, when is the next conference, WILL PEOPLE THINK WE'RE STRANGE? I think w ecan do this, if you will help us, can we join P.E. and we'll homeschool legally.