The tornado is giving way to a breeze

Hello! I haven't written the play by plays that I so wanted to because of sheer exhaustion! Who KNEW putting three kids in school would be such WORK???? Wasnt a sizeable component of this supossed to be "Cause Mama needs a break?" ....LOL

I am not sure where to start and waiting for my brain to feel crisp enough for a well thought out essay might not happen so here are some updates, if you will.

Casey. He absolutely LOVES Kindergarten. He cried that there was no school on Saturday. I am wondering what is it that is so up his alley, and I would say that it is the whole idea that he gets to wake up extremely early, immediately get dressed, get food shoved at him, and rush out the door to go have a big busy day! Woo hoo! Go gO go!!! Circle time! Song time! Snacky time! Gym class! Music time! Recess!!! Art!! Show and tell! go go go!!!! Line up! Get your backpacks! Mama is here!! Woo woo go go go !!!!!!

It is really right up his alley. I was worried that he might be wild and wiggly and disruptive and maybe even "bad", but so far no reports from anyone, and he seems really happy. Not tired, not overwhelmed, not sad. Cool!

In school, for the most part, what I have seen and heard and studied and taken in, is that their ideal scenario, as narrow and improbable as it might be, is that the child who enters kindergarten cannot read, and by first grade they can. So, I am going to teach Casey to read this year. Greta and Mickey could read by now, but I am glad Casey cant yet or else little worksheets about "The letter B" would be extremely insulting. It is presumptuous to assume I will be able to teach him to read, but it is the plan.

Mickey is in 3rd grade. I had worries about him that all got resolved yesterday, when, after I emailed her, his teacher called me on the phone after school. she was SO cool! She really loves the kids and cares so much about them! I was thoroughly impressed. She had so much insight into Mickeys personality already and had such positive ways of saying everything--she told me so much stuff that he wouldnt--8 year old boys! sheesh!---that he has tons of friends, that he is quiet and good in class (!!!!!) and that he is fitting right in. She had no idea that he was homeschooled (in all the correspondence I got into with the school regarding putting Greta into 5th grade instead of 6th, I sort of forgot about Mickey--meaning didnt warn anyone that this was his true first day of school!) and was amazed at how confidently he fit right in to all of the strange things they do in school. Lines, tests, bells, raising your hand, filling out a planner, hall passes, lunchroom, recess, all of it, she said he is just a wonderful friendly polite boy. (mother's heart beaming with relief and pride....)

Greta is in 5th grade and tells me LOTS about school. Follows me around the entire afternoon and evening telling me stuff. I am so grateful for this even if it is intense and even if she gets super mad when we are "interrupted" which is every 30 seconds. Her teacher is cool (and so beautiful!! hee hee) and the kids are nice-- well the boys are, she is much better friends with the boys, but let me know that the "reason the girls are so babyish and into ponies and hanna montana and stuff is not their fault, it is very common, Mom, its the media and it is their parents"............LOL Greta is great.

They are learning such impressive stuff, too--government and choir and social studies and lots of math. Math Math Math. but we have a new wonderful deal: She does it with Daddy, period. Those two can do math without getting emotional, whereas her and I cannot. I wish he would have been the math guy all these years! I would honestly say that in the past WEEK, she has gone from about a 3rd grade math level to right up to speed with the class. For real.

So, the kids are really doing well. But now for the hard stuff: can I just say HOLY CRAP THIS IS SO MUCH WORK FOR ME AND STEVE!!!!!

Ok, so the mornings, despite laying out EVERYTHING the night before, and i mean down to the entire breakfast table being set, are STRESSFUL! Yes we have a chart and yes we get them up early enough but DUDE. It is intense.

SO we all walk to school, bye bye.

Then me and Charlie and Eska go home, which has been nice. We are trying to relax, but there have been events almost everyday that prevent true mama-babies' hibernation. Phone calls to insurance, visiting, etc. But mostly it is cozy and gentle. I have had some flashbacks to back when i had just a tot and a baby, in 2000, and it was making me really sad, but now I am doing better with that, too. I have had some grieving process stuff for the life which I imagined when I was 25 and the life I have now, but I am quickly (at least today) getting really ok with what we have now and looking forward to the future, etc.

i have had to push Charlie's naps up to noon instead of 2pm, so we can be back at school by 3, but that has been pretty cool, too. it goes so fast.

I would like to take the babies to some cute stuff soon, library, play dates, park, but I also need to rest, ALOT, so so far we are just staying in. We did walk a far way to school yesterday and it was cool to find myself really looking at the trees in the neighborhood (I am obsessed with tree identification!) and loving the cooler weather and the new found mobility! (I was 37 weeks pregnant when we moved here, and then had the surgery, so I am just now getting out and about on foot and seeing the sights you miss in a car--the dogs, the birds, the trees!)

Yesterday I was a very good and darling housewife. I prepped the whole dinner during naptime and had laundry going the whole day. Before I loaded up my "red Cadillac" (the double stroller) I layed out healthy snacks and four drinks---the kids came home to a nice tidy house and we immediately did our Mama-Kid "conferences" on my big bed-- first Casey. Come in on my bed and tell me about your day. Show me your homework. Whats in your backpack. Ok go play!

Then Mickey's turn...show me your stuff, show me your last nights' homework, do I need to sign anything, how are your friends, how was gym, how was your lunch, tell me stuff!

Then Greta's turn. She's got the best truthful stories about the weird kids and the strange kids, the nice kids, the evil kids, and her take on the curriculum is amazing. She is about as mature as I was when I was about 29. Swear to God. She is taking to this new intense rigorous stuff so well, and so far seems so free of the self-doubt and insecurities that absolutely plagued my school years, even if/when I was popular, I would say about 99% of my energies went into what the others were thinking of me...she just really couldn't care less. What a gift!

So far it is a fabulous school and my kids have impressed me immensely. I am adjusting to this new lifestyle bit by bit, and each day seems to have the potential to be a little less dominated by sadness, regret, grief and remorse and more filled with the quiet and simple enjoyment of Charlie and Eska, and some nice housewifey stuff like cutting vegetables and washing dishes and opening mail right when it arrives. So far everything is pretty cool. I miss my fantasy-life, if that makes any sense whatsoever, but I do NOT miss my chaotic screaming fighting horrible life that was August.
More soon...