Sunday, February 22, 2009

New Blog

Thank you everyone who has faithfully followed this blog for over 2 years! after an important psychological breakthrough moment, I have consolidated all 4 of my blogs into one, called HouseFairy. Please join me over there for continuing discussions of ALL things Homeschooly, Birthy, Homemakingy, Fashiony, Rock n Rolly, and all things intelligent happy sad funny cool unique dreamy inspiring supportive contemplative and beyond!

Warmly,
your Housefairy,
MamaJoy

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Go on ahead and make up your own universe?

I posted a big/little tirade today on my homeschool board list about parents and schools that apparently are not only allowing "creative" spelling, but ENCOURAGING it. I do not understand what this could possibly be about but I want to know more. I think it sounds so stupid and ridiculous and smacks a bit to me of the "Afraid to upset junior" bull-archy. Or maybe I just misunderstood the whole thing.

I was waiting for a bunch of people to flame me and to give me big guilt inducing stories about their kid who has difficulties with reading/writing/spelling and I was ready to accept criticism and...no one wrote anything so far! Grr now I feel even weirder. I wonder if they think I am so horrible or if no one wants to rock the boat so to speak and give me hell or agree with me. there is alot of EXTRA, ULTRA HYPER Sensitivity and even though this "community" doesn't seem to get together as a whole or even a fraction, ever, there is alot of super mega tippy-toeing and it ends up that no one writes much of anything "about homeschooling".

I would like to live in a culture/subculture of healthy disagreement and debate and respect, but I understand why this is often impossible.

Anyhow, this is what I said on my list, in reference to encouraging younger kids to make up spellings. Tell me what you think?

There is nothing wrong with telling your child "Wow, that's exactly how I think it should be spelled, too! But its actually N-E-I-G-H! Isn't that strange? English is a really quirky language, huh?" I think in an effort not to upset our kids, or to make them think everything they do is correct, even when it is not,we have gone so far as to be "afraid" to break to them the news that there is an English Language and it is not something Mommy or Daddy made up to make you sad or frustrated, but it is something that is just a TRUTH. There will be frustrations and disappointments along our lives, like if its raining and you really, really wished it was sunny. But the only actual trauma, in my opinion, would be to have to find out outside of the home, perhaps later in life, that yep, Neigh is spelled neigh and why couldn't Mom have just told me so? I have found that even the youngest children prefer truth, and usually without a lot of fancy apologies or worry surrounding it. Now this being said, there is a context of course. If some little kid made you a Valentine's card and you immediately corrected it, I think that would be unnecessary/rude/insensitive. But if a child asked me, "Did I spell everything right, Mama?" I would tell them "Well, since you asked, it looks like you accidentally left the N out of the word Valentine, but everything else was spelled perfectly!" and that's that. Its not mean. Some children might do well with having "Spelling" be some separate entity, and some will just pick it up with exposure to the written word. But to sit down and encourage made up spellings --(am I correct in this being what is happening?) is just completely bizarre to me and really worries me for the child who would think that everything--including our very dialect--could or should be altered to fit their personal comfort level. Maybe make up examples of how everyday living would cease to be if things were not in a common language, and how basic sets of rules (Stop light is red, big blue H sign means Hospital) help us all live. Also, if the child is just crying and freaking out and is convinced that they "Cannot Spell!" they might be a little young/not ready for it and might need a break from that stuff for a while. Better a little later, properly, than to mix a kid up....how long would the creative spelling phase last and then how/when to end it? I think its doing a child a disservice and setting up bad habits for no reason other than to avoid temporary discomfort or frustration. Maybe I misunderstood. Maybe we are talking about just letting some stuff slide when the kid is really working deeply on writing a story or something. Then yes, dont interrupt or discourage the creative process. But when the whole adventure is finished, and enjoyed, it would not only be ok to then go on to have the "proofreading" portion then (like all authors! even JK Rowling! give reassuring examples, "Mommy uses spell check, would you like to try it?") but it can show your child that you really value what they have written.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

My 200th post!

Here is one more old one, another pro-life-learning type of thingy. Enjoy!

Enjoy some oldies?

Here are some oldies but goodies back when, lets face it, I used to be a better writer. they say having a baby ruins your brain---or something---well in 2006 I must have got a hold of some good coffee because I had a lot to say and now I just sort of sit here and nurse and I can sort of read magazines and I can sort of remember to click the spell check button.......Zen Mama its ok, your brain will come back! (Right????)

One on how kids really learn and the massive diff. between Teach and Learn.

One on my thoughts on preschool and how I wish there was preschool for old kids, too.

My thoughts on gender stuff as it pertains to kids.

My thoughts on having a college degree and then "just being a mommy"

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Homechooled kids are normal-er than school kids.

Even though I just wrote on Kneelingwoman's blog that homeschool "support" groups are pretty unnecessary, I certainly am no stranger to them. I have spent alot of time around homeschooled children of all 'types'. From formal, school-at-home types who do long daily lessons around the dining room table, to life-learning/unschooling types whose children follow their own path and pursuits, from huge families where babies and toddlers seem to be popping up in every corner, teenagers and medium kids and mom is always pregnant to the only child whose parents' sole existence seems to be this child and his or her special lessons, special outings, etc---from extremely conservative 'protect the kids from the outside influences/TV is the devil' types to extremely liberal families who allow 100% freedom of exposure to Television/movies and really, everywhere in between....there are so many more similarities among the kids of families who are raising them outside of the School System than there are differences, it is just--glorious to behold, really! I have also spent a lot of time with schooled kids. I was one, i babysat them, i see them and i watch them. On the playgrounds, on the streets, in the stores and in my yard. They operate under the most intense stress and fake ness and i pity them all. The way they play tentativly in the summer with a kid of another gender or age reminds me seriously of some olden times thing where a little white child played in secret with a little black child--- or german with jew or any other artifical horrible adult made constraint that children feel and yet do not want to be a part of--this is school kids to me. they know the "deal" but they hate it.

As you all know, we jumped right in there and did public school this year, for a couple of months and yep, it was just how I thought it would be---different, but not. It was all day immersion in a huge vat of mainstream kids of your exact age from your neighborhood. It was the polar opposite of exposure to anything real. In our neighborhood, it was all white kids from middle middle class whose parents were all friends who were born and raised here. Woo-woo, such socialization!

School kids learn right from the start that kids who are younger than yourself are sucky, inferior, lower, lesser, and of lower value and an embarrassment to be seen with. When Greta would SNEAK and play with Casey on the playground, she would get in big trouble for playing outside of her grade (even got "benched"!) and got teased soundly for such strange behavior. She never got to play with Mickey on the playground because they did not have coinciding recess times.

then of course there is no playing with kids who are not your gender. Lest they be INSTANTLY proclaimed to be your BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND. This leads to an intensification of girls play with pink and boys play with blue-black-red and anything outside of these arbitrary constraints is instantly suspect and up for diagnosis as GAY (=bad).

I am not able to write the way I want to, I feel so passionately about these things but my new mama brain is soft and gentle and I guess my soap box days are still in the future....please be patient with me, I know I anot exactly getting published anytime soon with these ramblings....

But the kids at our homeschool group are just great. Thats all Im tryin to say. These BIG teenaged boys were being really silly and doing all kinds of horseplay stuff and the littler kids jumped right in and nobody batted an eyelash! Girls and boys eat lunch happily on the ground and draw furious-speed cartoons and lavish Harry Potter-esque stories as they laugh and share stories "I LOVE Root Beer, too! " and nobody tries to make it some sexual weird thing.

The big kids play with the little kids or at least are very kind and tolerant of them as they breeze by with their little hotwheels cars, etc. Some boy who looked about 16 was playing a Cello and Casey stared at him from about 2 feet away for a good 15 minutes and the boy didnt mind one bit and when he was done he offered Casey his bow! Casey blushed and declined, but his eyes were very sparkly the rest of the afternoon and he went up in his bed and made a little "cello" out of cardboard and strings.

I love homeschooled kids and think that they are NORMAL. I feel so so sorry for all the kindergartners, entering into the weird weird world of separatism.

Sunday eve

I am behind on my daily blogging--so we must be nice and busy....

Friday's Homeschool Co-Op was cool--Greta had Metric Math which she found to be lackluster, but the handout is something her and I can do at home if we would like. Mickey's Math Games class was enjoyable to him and he made a flip-chart number line which he likes.

Casey and Charlie's watercoloring class got cancelled since the instructor was sick, so they were kind of bummed but we brought our marble tower stuff to share and had a nice time playing with that. Casey in particular has gone from a coo-coo disobedient little hooligan (nice mom huh?) to a genuine joy to behold. He shares, he is super articulate, he is respectful and reasonable and thoughtful and --wow. He was so sweet and patient with the kids at the group, I am very pleased with his progress in all areas.

We ate lunch there, yummy food someone made, soups and salads and brownies and little bottled root beers (why is stuff so yummy and fun in tiny glass bottles?) and we got out in time to get Steve only about 20 minutes after he got out of work (He only works until 1pm every other Friday...then the next week he works until 6pm Friday and then 1/2 day Saturday-- I hate those weeks!)

Yesterday (Saturday) was "family fun" and we did have fun, hanging around and today Greta, Eska and I went to a baby shower of a close friend. Now Steve is out watching football with the Dad-to-be of said baby, and I am catchin up on blogs and emails and we even got grocery day done despite the MAJOR MAJOR snow. Even though it is January in Michigan, the plows just cannot keep up and all major roads are just white--even the expressways! Very treacherous.

Tomorrow is our homeschool-day and I guess we will do all the work for the classes and some boy scout stuff.
Hope you all are staying warm and safe!
mamaJoy

Thursday, January 15, 2009

A side note on the Contented Mama...

....okay so, so far I have been completely honest with y'all about what we do. And I am realizing that it isnt sinful or weird and that nobody is upset that we arent crackin the books 24-7 right now. But the guilt and strangeness is still there---you know what it is? It is a LACK of upset that I am feeling as a grown woman, the utter LACK of stress and anxiety and fear and doing things for the imagined watchdog that has me feeeling so free and happy that I wonder if this is really it and if I have actually reached Enlightenment, Zen, and--dare I say it, Happiness, do I shout it out to the world like some big annoying born-again or do I keep it to myself like a warm little secret?

Hey today I decided to take a good long look at everfything that caused me to yell at the kids yesterday and do something differently. Yesterday it was BE QUIET! THE BABY IS SLEEPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today I just held her through her naps. Yep! How spoiled! The dishes sat very quietly and the baby was happy and the Mama didnt yell and everyone's domino towers got looked at!

I am telling you, I am so happy. We just live and love and hang around doing cool stuff. And I really am appreciating the baby and the roses are getting smelled and it is just glorious. As I sit here in snowman pajama pants eating triscuits-in-hummous, with a tall glass of fake Sprite from Aldi, dominos and children EVERYWHERE, I am seriously so happy I feel like pink sunlight is shooting out of my fingers and toes. If I could describe what we do right now it would be that I am truly, truly, WITH CHILD(ren). I am with them. I am here for them. But not in some innaproprite way where I ask them if I can make a phone call---no--on the contrary, I have been more firm and unapologetic about what will and wont go on than ever before. So my no's mean no and my yeses are true and happy ones--no resentful martyrdom here, and everyone seems so happy happy happy in there firm and known roles and rythms and habits. Peace!

but this was a long hard fought battle against so many demons, am I in a position yet to try and tell others how-to yet? Not at all. SO I can just keep up the honest daily reports and see what happens.

(To the people who have asked me about television, I promise my opinions on that are coming soon)

Wednesday

I have no idea what we did yesterday. I know we played for hours and hours with those old time-y Animal Cards---do you guys remember those, my Mom used to order me some new ones each month and I never ever have the heart to throw them away. Do you know, with the Genus, species, Family, Order, Class and Phylum, and the ever so intriguing Gestation, Number of Young, Adult Weight, Length, Height and Approx lifespan?

ooh we had fun. First we (Me and Greta and somewhat Casey and Mickey) separated them into all these groupings...some scientific and some completely subjective such as Scary, Gross, Adorable, Rare, Mean, and Boring. LOL! them we invented a big dice rolling game with the animals and ummm there was lots of Math involved. So much our heads were spinning and we were sort of becoming victims of our own convoluted game plans. Making a game is really really hard! Making a FUN game is almost impossible! But we did have fun.

the boys worked on Dominos and we all played Wii Music for a while. It is fun and there are "lessons" with lots of real musical terms like Tone, Harmony, Pitch, Cadence, Rhythm, Melody, Tempo, Dissonance etc to keep the educational component really at the forefront. I hope as we get further into this game it gets...funner? It is cool but not like you are dying to play it or anything. I am kind of surprised. But time will tell.

We played with our rabbit and...cooked? I don't know. It was just a cozy day.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Tuesday...no theme really

We had a three-kid dental appointment today that was VERY difficult. In order to have the car, Steve had to bring it home at lunch, then we drove him back and then came home and sat for 45 minutes. Then we went to the dentist, and it took 2 hours all considered. Exhausting. Cant even tell you. Then we had about an hour and a half until we had to go get Steve from work again so we decided to pass the time at Jungle Java again. Kind of a mistake. Too much work and I was feeling very postpartumish with insides falling out and cant stand up all the way and ripping tummy....bummer. That dentist trip, I cant even tell you. three kids in three different rooms, with me running back and forth between each one carrying the baby....had to carry Charlie (never cool he weighs 48 pounds) all the way in due to an extreme tantrum, had to throw him in the dentist , with Greta, had her barricade him in so I could run back through the snow and get the other three kids.....

anyhow by the time we got Steve I was too hurt to go to the Big Boy Scout Pack meeting OR take Greta to Girl Scouts. We had had no dinner by 7pm. I was ordered to bed by Steve while he and the kids cleaned and I rested with the baby. He is an angel. We all ate a late tv-tray meal and yes we watched American Idol try outs. Im not ashamed.....well kind of....but its SO FUNNY!

Exhausting day.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Monday, home-school

Today we did our schoolwork. Greta had plenty to do for her co-op class in the form of keeping records, looking up definitions to spelling and vocab words, and reading. Mickey and I did his online math together and read 4 chapters in the book he is doing. It is called The Whipping Boy and is an old time fairy tale type, full of princes and stuff. Seems cool! He also had some vocab words and spelling to do and I had them sit with me and look at the new poetry book and I read outloud to them for a long time. Casey did some first grade worksheets and needed minimal help, and Charlie got all into the vibe of it and filled in piles of shapes worksheets.

We do NO TV/Video Games on our school day, and they didnt even ask or fuss (well, no more than a couple of times in the afternoon)

Mickey's friend (he is ALL of our friend, for sure, but he is an 8 year old boy so I will classify him as Mickeys friend : )) came over around 4 pm and they played out in the snow with Casey for over an hour! It was so cool to see them on the swingset -- in the deep snow, no one has played on it for a few months--but there they were, swinging and jumping off--at least they had a foot of fluff to land in! We were sad to see him have to go home, but it was perfect timing for dinner.

More downsizing and cleaning this evening with me and Daddy, watched some dumb comedian and fell asleep : )

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Sunday, homecare

This morning I made my grocery list in bed, with no coffee for my weary brain--but I did it still, another wonderfully healthy menu, to send Mickey and Daddy to the grocery store(s) with. I am getting so good at this!

They were gone a long time and when they were gone, I prepped the house to receive the new food. I cleaned the kitchen, appliances and floor. We even rolled up the rug so they wouldn't traipse in snow clumps. They did bring my beloved coffee and I was glad to have it. I get bad headaches without my caffeine. We spent the rest of the day hanging out, going through more stuff and "downsizing" (putting it in garbage bags or donation bags) and had a lovely dinner of middle eastern food.

These nice new habits and this schedule have had a remarkable effect on the children. their attitudes are so light and healthy now, instead of all this seething sarcasm and angry brattiness that I have seen for months. Everyone is pretty okay with helping and likes to check the chart and to see that yup, it says Casey and Charlie bathtime, and by golly, there they are in the bath! Hmmm....routine? LOVE it. Really, really love it.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Saturday

Today Daddy worked until 2pm. When he got home, we all helped ready the house for "the Guys" to come over and play board games. We got to hang out with them some and then I took the little boys on a snow walk in the dark. It was magical--the kind of night walk where you whisper, out of reverence--yeah even Charlie. It was a nice day.

After 33 years of living in Michigan and dreading the whole part of once you get back in the house with those darn wet snow clothes on, I finally got wise: We had an empty hamper waiting for us in the entryway. Take off everything you have and place in hamper. Walk down and put it all in the dryer. Drink Cocoa. Genius!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Friday: Homeschool Co-Op

I loved it! The kids loved it! Yay!

Today we started day one of our weekly homeschool classes/co-op. Greta is enrolled in a class called Science and Writing Through Great Books, and there is a lot of prep work. She did all of it and enjoyed the 2 hour course. she got to dissect a real starfish and did a lot of very junior high level stuff. They are reading Kipling's Just So Stories, The Island of The Blue Dolphins, The Secret Garden, and one other book. The teacher is a homeschool mom of 5, a medical student, and very cool person.

Mickey had a class called Tales of Wonder, which is a language arts course. They are reading poems, and a few other classics.

Casey and Charlie and Eska and I hung out in a little room and they played really nicely with the other little kids and with toys. Then we had lunch which we brought from home, but we can buy it there we just didnt know...and then I did my co-op duty which was cleaning after lunch and then we left....but Greta remained behind to take Art History and then the teacher brought her home since they live nearby.

Very fun! I met a cool mom who is expecting her fourth girl, and got to chat with my Trish : ) and with an old friend whom I have missed. it was as warm and friendly and cozy and welcoming as could be.

Next Friday Greta has a class called metric math, and Mickey has Math Games. Them Casey and Charlie have Watercolors class. Should be darling!

Greta has a HUGE report and presentation due in 2 weeks.

I think this is perfect. Once a week. Pictures soon!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Thursday: field trip

Today we went to Jungle Java--this is an amazingly fun place that truly must have been invented by a mom. It is basically a playscape--a HUGE one, that is surrounded by a carpeted plush-armchaired-leather sofa atmosphere that serves coffee, healthy stuff like pita wraps and salads and little kid treats like cheese and apples and goldfish crackers.

The last time we went I met a bunch of other homeschooling moms from my area! It was so cool! They were talking about breastfeeding and swapping little Waldorfy cookbooks--I knew we would hit it off and we did. They wanted to know whose awesome kid made up "Lets Hide From the Government" game that had every child in the place all quiet....it was my Greta and we were fast friends! I felt a little weird just plunking myself down in the middle of their lady hang out but they seemed to not mind me so it felt like I knew them forever.....well, they were there again today! I was kind of hoping that it was them, I saw some Birth Is Normal bumper sticker in the parking lot and had a ray of hope ;)

the kids run and play for HOURS--even mopey (lately) Mickey and sophisticated (lately) Greta are running and climbing and squealing and crashing back to my happy place in the big soft armchair with my Eska-Bean-A tucked into her happy nursey land, begging me for pop--free refills--one buck keeps us hydrated all afternoon!

It was a wonderful visit. I met FOUR women who had homebirths recently, so the movement is alive and well in my area, although I only had heard of two of the midwives, one lady had a U/C and the others were new names. Interesting. I am not in a head space to get back into all that but I was happy to see so many nursing Mamas and hear homebirth as such a common choice.

I love Thursdays as our outing days. Next Thursday we are going to go visit my mom!

Wednesday...one of the very unschooly days but full of laughter and activity

So, yesterday was my big laundry day. We are downsizing and I am enjoying taking out "everything that you are not ECSTATIC to see in your dresser drawer" : ) This was what I asked of my children and husband, so I got rid of (Salvation Army) a LOT of clothes and weird ugly blankets and such.

Greta and Mickey played around on the Guitar Hero for a while in the morning as me and the littlest three hung out in the basement. Casey asked to hear "rock and roll" so I put on Os Mutantes. Super weird brazilian 60s stuff. I love them listening to cool stuff. Eska jumped and jumped in her jumpy while the littlest boys set up some crazy thing that involved duplos as bowling and rolling them down the stairs.

Lunch was nachos and since I am being really hardcore about meals and not snacking and such anymore (more later on that, maybe on Hearth and Home blog?) they were all super hungry and not a complaint! It was nice to have a lunch without griping fussing picking and requests for goofy alternate meals. EVERYONE helped clear the table if they wanted to play Sorry Sliders with me...a little board game that involves rolling pawns to score, almost like curling.

At one oclock the bell rang (I am using a little wind up alarm clock in conjunction with a little egg timer lately for Lunch, Nap, Nap Is Over, Sharing, Clean up Time, Dinner, Bath, Bed....it is working and they even think it is fun!) I took Charlie upstairs to his nap and Greta and Mickey settled in to finish their thank you cards for their Christmas presents. This small project has taken along time and I was done allowing them to procrastinate, so it was time to do that. they looked up the addresses/zip codes that always seem to elude me and we had a chat about the Post Office and how quaint and amazing it all is. Then as Eska needed a nursing and as the kids are STILL rather sick, we agreed to make a "big blanket puff" in the front room for resting for one hour and watching Wall-E, a new pixar film that is really really cute and wholesome and has a cool message that is very easy to "get" about taking care of Earth and such. Eska sleeps very well if she can nurse and then just be held asleep in my arms and so we did that.

At around 3:30 I announced "no more electronics" and nobody fussed. Greta said something sassy about How she guessed we were supposed to just sit there and look at each other and I cheerily said that that was one option! And then I went and washed up the dishes by hand. We are using the dishwasher only once a night, right before bed now. I have no idea if this saves or wastes water but this is what we are doing. Eska played in the big blanket puff and loved it, and soon the "bored" kids had made up a big game pretending they were running an animal daycare and Charlie and Eska were the naughty cats, etc.

We did our 4:30 clean up and noone fussed--Mickye needs some guidance and so I tell him "you fold all those quilts and put them on the couch" whereas Casey and Greta can just tidy up a place without a meltdown. Charlie was being very wild and so he had some highchair time with his cool magnet tangrams from his auntie for xmas gift. He ended needing an impromptu bath which served as a great playpen for about 1/2 hour for a dirty sticky tot. He is so sweet in the bath, unlike his older brothers at that age whose sole intent was to flood the universe, he plays very cool little games with cars and cups and balls and never splashes. For real!

I started making dinner right at 5, another one of my "resolutions" and Greta helped somewhat although I encouraged her to keep up the cat-daycare-game rather than burn all the tofu. I said it nicely though! she did perfectly cook the broccoli and seems to all of a sudden want to cook with me because I am gracious and cheerful and not put out and crabby, most likely.

Steve got home lateish (5:40 and he works 5 miles from home...the traffic!!!) and we had a nice meal of tofu, mashed potatoes and gravy, canned corn and broccoli. Strange combo but everyone gobbled because, again, we did not have 4 oclock pig out.

Greta, Mickey and Daddy clean the dinner mess while I gave Casey a bath and popped Eska in there, too, since she was a bit grody--she can go in that little baby bath ring thing now and she LOVES it. By the time I got her out and did the cream and powder and diaper and outfit and all, Casey had appeared in my doorway frozen wet naked (he never gives warning or asks to be done he just gets out! argg!) and so I got him all set with pajamas and teeth and took him up for a story. He was asleep by 7! Efficiency, I tell ya, we are doing so well lately....Charlie was in bed by 8 but did yell for a little while. "I dont wanna go bed" seemed to be the theme. I have no idea how Casey can sleep through that, but he does!

Greta and Mickey started their basement hang out at 8pm and Steve and I chatted and tidied and puttered about. I showed him all I had done in the basement and we went in our bedroom and talked about Life while I nursed the baby and then at 9:30 Greta and Mickey went off to their beds, with the admonition of complete lights out by 10.

Steve and I watched funny tv shows and cuddled for a while on the soggy old couch until our backs couldnt take it anymore then we hit the hay. A Lovely day!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

2009

Hello and happy new year! It has been a while, huh?

Although I was all primed to start blogging EVERYDAY, showcasing that my kids were TOTALLY STILL "LEARNING", appeasing and assuaging all my nay-sayers and dissaprovers both real and mostly imagined, life got in the way. Life got in the way of me embarrassing myself, mentally abusing my kids, and losing my mind in a whirlwind of burn-out within weeks if not days.

I went out with my wise Mama-friend who put out there what I knew, knew, knew, (if only my intuition hadnt been so bruised, buried, hidden, inaccessible, feared, neglected) and that was to lightly and delicately suggest A BIG WINTER BREAK
duh
duh
duh
duh

When I arrived at Starbucks I was literally hunched over, as though in a frozen grief, so physical was my stress, so lost and upside down, bass-ackwards was our homelife--great, we've all dropped out of school and now what? NOW WHAT? when you've lost your way and all the paths have clover'ed and spiral around and all paths have failed you for 5 months, things can get pretty scary, and yet her suggestion to just chill for a while seemed radical to me. But I knew it was right.

Immediately, as in the next day, my kids had a doctors appointment that was really stressful, and when we arrived home, we could literally do nothing besides chill out....and you know what? It started a revolution in the home. The kids got sicker, I threw out my back, and we chilled out for A MONTH.

Now, this feels less like some naughty confession now that it has passed, but thats just what I am trying to say: Why must we hide truth, why must we hide What Works, only to allude to it later?

I was at a crossroads. We pulled all the kids out of school, and I found in a mad dash, a TON of cool educational websites. I was ready to pound their souls into the pavement to PROVE something to NOBODY, to make our home a literal Dentention Center--lists, charts, threats, bribes, by golly nobody could ever say this wasnt better than elementary school ever again

But it was ridiculous. It was the most awful , arbitrary, fake, stressful, yucky thing I have ever tried to do to my kids, ever. It was the same as elementary school, except the teacher was meeeeeeeean.

Education is not something you DO TO kids. Knowledge is not something you spray ONTO them. We chilled out at first because we had to, and then because peace and love was the only way we could heal all of what this family has been through in the past 6 months, year, beyond.

Now, we are slowly retrying a "schedule" that really works. For us all. My children have demonstrated to the entire world their capability to pick up whatever little trivia or skill-set that is asked of them. But as well all know, none of that is important, because none of it is meaningful, and none of it lasts. So we are starting over. New Mama (me), new respect for one another, new self respect, no more bribes, coercion, uglyness.

We have joined a homeschool co-op that starts this Friday. I am looking forward to telling you all about it. We go on outings on Thursdays that can count as field trips. Mondays we are saving for our cool websites and as the one day a week we are doing XYand Z that Mama has decided we need to work on. But the rest of the time is for family living, and I mean just that. I am excited to start over for 2009 and come out of the closet as neither an unschooler nor someone who tries to replicate the meaningless pressurized to-do lists of the school system. this is our homeschool, and for the first time in a long time, ANGER is not sitting at our table with us.

I am sorry to be so vague, and I know you might be clamoring for BUT WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY? I know, I know, I know--I search too for those types of 1-2-3 success recipes, but they are fools gold. All I know is that we are happy and kind and reading and writing and yes, on Mondays, they are doing the math website that I found and are above grade level, for what thats worth.

I DO want to post everyday--but I had to out myself first. It isnt going to look like what I know would have impressed certain folks. I am not posting pic after pic of my kid bent over some worksheet. and we do not have the car or money to travel the world looking at pyramids very often, either. But the children are thriving, safe, open, and our vibe is good and warm again. Casey 100% has ceased all weird behavior for now and we are no longer pursuing any type of therapy for him. I got a little flip-type video camera for xmas and as soon as we figure out how, this will become a video blog at times, too--very fun!

I hope my theme for 2009 of honesty and unapologetic-ness will be a place where you can come for laughs, insight, and a glimpse at a very normal family who happens to choose to live extraordinarily out of the box.

For those who would like:
this is our math

this is our library when we have no car (most days i am way too lazy and cold to drive daddy to work)

and what the kids play constantly is: Dominoes! But not line-up-the-numbers, no, building with them. Grand towers. Ramps, tunnels, marble-runs set ups.....they started in early November and have not had one day in which they have not worked on this passion! Also, they are planning on great and grand Rube Goldberg machines such as this one someday soon.

So, I will charge up the rechargable batteries and fire up the camera and the video camera and promise to post more often.