Even though I just wrote on Kneelingwoman's blog that homeschool "support" groups are pretty unnecessary, I certainly am no stranger to them. I have spent alot of time around homeschooled children of all 'types'. From formal, school-at-home types who do long daily lessons around the dining room table, to life-learning/unschooling types whose children follow their own path and pursuits, from huge families where babies and toddlers seem to be popping up in every corner, teenagers and medium kids and mom is always pregnant to the only child whose parents' sole existence seems to be this child and his or her special lessons, special outings, etc---from extremely conservative 'protect the kids from the outside influences/TV is the devil' types to extremely liberal families who allow 100% freedom of exposure to Television/movies and really, everywhere in between....there are so many more similarities among the kids of families who are raising them outside of the School System than there are differences, it is just--glorious to behold, really! I have also spent a lot of time with schooled kids. I was one, i babysat them, i see them and i watch them. On the playgrounds, on the streets, in the stores and in my yard. They operate under the most intense stress and fake ness and i pity them all. The way they play tentativly in the summer with a kid of another gender or age reminds me seriously of some olden times thing where a little white child played in secret with a little black child--- or german with jew or any other artifical horrible adult made constraint that children feel and yet do not want to be a part of--this is school kids to me. they know the "deal" but they hate it.
As you all know, we jumped right in there and did public school this year, for a couple of months and yep, it was just how I thought it would be---different, but not. It was all day immersion in a huge vat of mainstream kids of your exact age from your neighborhood. It was the polar opposite of exposure to anything real. In our neighborhood, it was all white kids from middle middle class whose parents were all friends who were born and raised here. Woo-woo, such socialization!
School kids learn right from the start that kids who are younger than yourself are sucky, inferior, lower, lesser, and of lower value and an embarrassment to be seen with. When Greta would SNEAK and play with Casey on the playground, she would get in big trouble for playing outside of her grade (even got "benched"!) and got teased soundly for such strange behavior. She never got to play with Mickey on the playground because they did not have coinciding recess times.
then of course there is no playing with kids who are not your gender. Lest they be INSTANTLY proclaimed to be your BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND. This leads to an intensification of girls play with pink and boys play with blue-black-red and anything outside of these arbitrary constraints is instantly suspect and up for diagnosis as GAY (=bad).
I am not able to write the way I want to, I feel so passionately about these things but my new mama brain is soft and gentle and I guess my soap box days are still in the future....please be patient with me, I know I anot exactly getting published anytime soon with these ramblings....
But the kids at our homeschool group are just great. Thats all Im tryin to say. These BIG teenaged boys were being really silly and doing all kinds of horseplay stuff and the littler kids jumped right in and nobody batted an eyelash! Girls and boys eat lunch happily on the ground and draw furious-speed cartoons and lavish Harry Potter-esque stories as they laugh and share stories "I LOVE Root Beer, too! " and nobody tries to make it some sexual weird thing.
The big kids play with the little kids or at least are very kind and tolerant of them as they breeze by with their little hotwheels cars, etc. Some boy who looked about 16 was playing a Cello and Casey stared at him from about 2 feet away for a good 15 minutes and the boy didnt mind one bit and when he was done he offered Casey his bow! Casey blushed and declined, but his eyes were very sparkly the rest of the afternoon and he went up in his bed and made a little "cello" out of cardboard and strings.
I love homeschooled kids and think that they are NORMAL. I feel so so sorry for all the kindergartners, entering into the weird weird world of separatism.
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I tend to agree with you about "homeschool'ed kids generally, but only when they themselves are with other homeschool'ed kids! Having been around the same when they get out in "the community" I find that they sometimes have real trouble "meshing" with other people ( and this is really true only of the "isolationist" types I've known or those whose primary socialization seems to be at home, or in homeschool groups/activities ie no neighborhood, or other-than-other-homeschooler's exposure ). I agree that when kids are "at school" there is exactly the kind of stuff you describe; no queston. We have lived for nearly 20 years but a block away from what, until recently, was a very busy elementary school and the park I used to take my oldest kids to when they were little was adjacent to the playground and "yikes"....wowy zowy. Competitive, angry, frustrated little overcrowded sardine children. Bad news... your homeschool group sounds wonderful and life giving for all you; good job!
I've always said that there's a light in a homeschooled child's eye that isn't in a regular-schooled one. There's just something different. Oh, I want that for my kids. So badly. I suspect that I won't be sending Matt back after we move and Jon has a job. Too much stress right now to do what I really want, but the time will come. Thank you for posting all this. I NEED IT.
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