Ahh how soon we forget that age, that age when everything is a drama, everything is a tragedy, and nearly every note out of their rosebud lips is a whiney-screech. In my family, I am talking about 2 1/2 to about 3 1/2 years old. oh my god just give him the little jelly packet! who cares! Is the kind of thing we all do in a semi-panic to stop that horrific squealing. Honey can you please please say it nicely? Mommy cant understand you when you whine like that, dear darling. Shut up or Ill....just please please say it nicely, honey....it is so intense. It is intense when you are alone with this ultra-sensitive, ultra-demanding, ultra-freaked out little person, but add to it an older sibling or two or three who seem (am I imagining it? I am afraid not) to purposefully disturb/disrupt the little tragic toddler all day long, and there is no end to the weird stuff you might "let slide" just to get 2 or 3 minutes of reward in the form of the most adorable, precious, happy, proud little cherub that you love so much, eating the jelly packet with a knife at the restaurant. Wearing rainboots, a diaper, and a backwards sweater to the store. And yes, trying out that most interesting of Mama's crafts, nail polish. It is darling on little fat hands, and the little fat hands have often been those belonging to--gasp!--a boy.
Now, I don't give one hoot if you are open minded, closed minded, traditional, progressive, cool or uncool, I think we can all admit that painting is very alluring to toddlers, and I hope we can all admit that there is nothing wrong with paint. So when we come up against folks who flip out over boys in nail polish, what we are dealing with is something very ingrained and I do not think they realize on the surface just what their upset can seem to symbolize. Misogyny, homophobia, its all there but a 2 dollar bottle of wet-n-wild does not a gay man make. If your child has the genetic makeup to want to wear makeup as an adult lifestyle choice, you did not make or break that by allowing him to try the freakin nail polish, ok? No matter how many Maury episodes you watched in 1991, it doesnt work that way. tO be perfectly honest, I think that making some its just for ladies, ooh la la thing out of it would increase the mystique and allure a hundredfold. Its not sex, its not gender, its PAINT. Im even gonna go out on a limb here and guess that if someone was truly gender dysphoric, transgender, or homosexual, what a wonderful thing they could have in their life's story: " my mom and dad wre always so cool to me about little stuff." You know? But back to reality:
I for one do not have the energy, interest, or inclination to tell a pestering toddler anything besides yes or no. and for me, if they wanna have little red or blue fingernails for a couple of days (it chips off at lightning speed unless you wanna go the extra mile for a base coat top coat and sealer which god bless you my toddlers dont stay still that long) GO FOR IT. Nobody cares at all.
Now, onto Halloween:
Charlie is right there, at that age. He is delighted and contented about 15% of the time and the rest he is extremely concerned, freaking out, wigging out, trying to explain himself with his limited vocab, and yes, he whines so so so much. He also succumbed to being afraid of all things Halloween about a month ago. Maybe it was the entire aisle clever candy dishes with skeletal hands in them that all turned on by themselves when we walked past them at WalMart. Maybe it was Casey whispering horrible things in his ear. Who knows. But Charlie, like Mickey, is more of a worrywort/fraidy cat than a daredevil guy, and he didnt want to have anything to do with Halloween. When we tried to talk to him about "you get candy and it is really---" He just starts running around saying "Candy! I want candy! I want candy! I want candy! I want some candy!" and thats sort of hard to listen to. so its weird. a weird year. I didnt know what ?I wanted to do, I wanted us all to go out trick or treating.
Well, then we went shopping for some costumes. Many years I have been more than creative, sewing and gluing and duct taping up some real darling little things: Mickey especially has been a race car, a lego, and Im gonna go on ahead and bless my own heart here: a bowling pin that I made while 42 weeks pregnant and in early labor. For real. But this year, I dont know, we just went to Target and bought stuff.
Greta got a skeleton outfit, very scary and cool. I am so proud that she is not the Slut-o-ween type that saying yes to the skeleton suit was a no-brainer.
Mickey got an "unknown phantom" outfit--it didnt look like much in the package but it is so cool! He is such a skinny little wisp, and it is this little black tunic, black cloak-hood thing with glowing eyes! Its really scary, but in this interesting way, not gory just really cool effect with the little glowing eye glasses.
Casey chose a fireman outfit and now hates it because it isnt scary. Of course. We told him we will help him be a scary fireman, maybe with facepaint. It came with a fake Axe so he liked that, naturally. ah, Casey.
But Charlie, who didnt want to dress up, didnt want to talk about it, announced in Target, in the Charlie-and-Eska cart (Steve and I have to do 2 carts, one with Casey and products, one with Charlie and Eska) that he was gonna be a "Pink Bunny". i think he said a Pink Baby Bunny.
I loved the idea and I was so touched by the thought and symbolism that he must have gone through to come up with what I can only guess was the un-scariest thing in the whole world--a pink baby bunny. We were going to go look at the costume area but no no no he was too afraid, so we went over to the baby clothes area and I was thinking I could get him a girl's pink one piece footed pajama and then go to JoAnn fabrics and sew him little ears, when all of a sudden we saw an actual baby hat that was pink with ears and a bunny face on it. Presto! I grabbed him a pink sweatshirt and pink sweatpants (to be enjoyed by Eska in a couple of years no doubt) and there you have it folks! A pink baby bunny. To try and talk him into a blue bunny or anything else would just be so so weird. Just so weird. this is a child who overcame great fears, and came up with his own heartfelt solution to a big dilemma in his life--planning for a holiday that he does not remember from last time, I dont know--I just think the whole thing is fabulous.
I think it is so classic and such a great family story already. With five kids, I am all nostalgic and grandmotherly in a lot of ways now. The little transgressions just touch my heart, it all goes so fast. It all goes by so flipping fast. He is gonna be the coolest cutest most wonderful pink baby bunny there ever was. Maybe ill paint his nails black for little claws, too.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Friday School: G, black, and spiral
Sorry I havent had pictures lately. Out of batteries/too tired.
Today we did the letter Gg and the color black and the shape spiral. We cut spirals, talked about spirals in nature and had a rip roaringly successful color-walk: 220 black things on our street, I kid you not! Addresses, lampposts and garbage cans, as well as car tires were hugely numerous. It was fun and cold!
We sing the days of the week song and we even did some science, by reading in a darling old science book that I have called Nature Wonderland. We talked about feathers and fur, stems leaves and flowers, and insects having 6 legs. Both Casey and Charlie knew alot more than I thought, I think this is supposed to be like maybe a second grade book? Anyhow it was nice. A nice day of school. They were good boys and Casey is starting to see that I really slather on the praise when he is loving and brotherly towards Charlie. SO now he chases Charlie around hugging and kissing him (too hard of course) and I laugh. they also have shared a room for a while now but just now are starting to talk and laugh with each other before Charlie calls "Mama....." to have me or Steve get him out of the crib. I heard Casey trying to tell Charlie how to get out and I was like; "NO NO NO NON ONONONONON CASEY!!!!! COME TALK TO MAMA FOR A MINUTE, HONEY!"
I told him point blank that if he teaches Charlie to get out of his crib that my life would be over and he asked why and I said well we just really need Charlie to stay safe in there.......phew!.....NOt ready for that whole nightmare of big-boy-bed yet. not even close. I wonder if seasoned parents are as quick to push that as first timers, the big boy big girl bed crap? No thanks. Outside of cosleeping which I am all in favor of, I need to have those littles in their cribby-land until they are truly in need of access to the potty or the springs break. I couldnt be more serious. I think the crib is a cozy and safe haven for little ones and I really couldnt sleep if I wasnt certain that Junior wasn't nipping at the Drano, maybe its just me. We keep our kids in highchairs for a "long" time, too. It works for us.
Looking forward to the nice weekend! Steve is gonna take the kids to a cider mill and i get to stay home with Eskarina! YAY!!!!!!!!
Today we did the letter Gg and the color black and the shape spiral. We cut spirals, talked about spirals in nature and had a rip roaringly successful color-walk: 220 black things on our street, I kid you not! Addresses, lampposts and garbage cans, as well as car tires were hugely numerous. It was fun and cold!
We sing the days of the week song and we even did some science, by reading in a darling old science book that I have called Nature Wonderland. We talked about feathers and fur, stems leaves and flowers, and insects having 6 legs. Both Casey and Charlie knew alot more than I thought, I think this is supposed to be like maybe a second grade book? Anyhow it was nice. A nice day of school. They were good boys and Casey is starting to see that I really slather on the praise when he is loving and brotherly towards Charlie. SO now he chases Charlie around hugging and kissing him (too hard of course) and I laugh. they also have shared a room for a while now but just now are starting to talk and laugh with each other before Charlie calls "Mama....." to have me or Steve get him out of the crib. I heard Casey trying to tell Charlie how to get out and I was like; "NO NO NO NON ONONONONON CASEY!!!!! COME TALK TO MAMA FOR A MINUTE, HONEY!"
I told him point blank that if he teaches Charlie to get out of his crib that my life would be over and he asked why and I said well we just really need Charlie to stay safe in there.......phew!.....NOt ready for that whole nightmare of big-boy-bed yet. not even close. I wonder if seasoned parents are as quick to push that as first timers, the big boy big girl bed crap? No thanks. Outside of cosleeping which I am all in favor of, I need to have those littles in their cribby-land until they are truly in need of access to the potty or the springs break. I couldnt be more serious. I think the crib is a cozy and safe haven for little ones and I really couldnt sleep if I wasnt certain that Junior wasn't nipping at the Drano, maybe its just me. We keep our kids in highchairs for a "long" time, too. It works for us.
Looking forward to the nice weekend! Steve is gonna take the kids to a cider mill and i get to stay home with Eskarina! YAY!!!!!!!!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Thursday School: no more
Today for school, um , to be perfectly frank, we drove Daddy to work at 9am and never came back home. I could tell by 6:15am that things were not right with my dear little fooligans. I was not about to try and do anything besides go go go. Letter G would have to wait : )
We went back to Kids Korner and not only was that a great idea, but they have the gymnasium open on Thursdays, so a truly acceptable and appropriate letting off of wild steam was had, and me and the baby didnt have to freeze our buns off in some frosty park! Hooray! The other Mamas flagrantly disobeyed the "no food or drinks" rule, which I think was for allergy children, so I might be naughty and have a coffee next time. then it would be actual paradise!
I love my kids, but it gets outrageously hard and draining by Thursday. what was so great on Monday just is not by Thursday. Thursday has always been this thing in our family because our Daddy (is that creepy when I say that? We are fast becoming those old couples who call each other mom and dad--just kidding! only on the blog--I think....) works until 8pm on Thursday night. So there is no family dinner. There is no helper. there is no break or end in sight, I have to do it all all all the day the afternoon the dinner the homework the cleanup the bedtime, too. Ok, so not usually the cleanup. Lol. ANYWAYS, Thursday is this weird day and if you peek back, last Thursday was bad too so we officialy (see? I am getting rhythms! yippee!) do not do our regular homeschool on Thursdays. Call it no school, call it field trip, call it what you like we go to kids korner now on Thursdays. I hope that cool babysitter girl is there everytime, too--she was so nice! She seemed like a nanny, maybe 20 years old, and we were swapping local places to take kids in the bad weather, little McDonalds with good or bad playscapes, etc. she was so nice! she totally understood what I was saying about everyplace around town, except when I came to the money or price part, her face went a little blank. haha. thats ok, she is a nanny, her employers give her money. whatever! I told her alot of places she hadnt been to and she told me about which libraries are flexible about the age-range for "toddler storytime". Awesome!
Anyhow, we went to kids korner, then we ate lunch out (! scandal! eleven dollars! so incredibly worth it! ) then we went to a park. It sounds like woo woo I am so brave and strong, but no, no, my friends, I am lazy and relaxin! The little kid energy was of the charts and outside, especially way outside like a big big park, there really isnt anything I have to say no to. The shout and scramble on the ground (I hate that in the house, the crawling and flopping on the ground--do your kids do that? Our house is too little for that it is awful!) and throw stuff and throw stuff and throw stuff. Whee! Childhood fun while Mama sits on her bum and waves. Yes, I am a hero. wink.
We didnt get home until Greta and Mickey were almost home. I was totally casual about dinner "sure, have an egg sandwhich, Greta. Yeah Mickey you can have some noodles. Sure, sure, have some cereal." nobody cared. I know that if I had one child we would do that all the time, and I also know that 5 kids and chaos equals horrific depression and badness so we only do this on Thursday evening now, but it was cool. the whole thing was cool. We are definitely going to do this again.
We went back to Kids Korner and not only was that a great idea, but they have the gymnasium open on Thursdays, so a truly acceptable and appropriate letting off of wild steam was had, and me and the baby didnt have to freeze our buns off in some frosty park! Hooray! The other Mamas flagrantly disobeyed the "no food or drinks" rule, which I think was for allergy children, so I might be naughty and have a coffee next time. then it would be actual paradise!
I love my kids, but it gets outrageously hard and draining by Thursday. what was so great on Monday just is not by Thursday. Thursday has always been this thing in our family because our Daddy (is that creepy when I say that? We are fast becoming those old couples who call each other mom and dad--just kidding! only on the blog--I think....) works until 8pm on Thursday night. So there is no family dinner. There is no helper. there is no break or end in sight, I have to do it all all all the day the afternoon the dinner the homework the cleanup the bedtime, too. Ok, so not usually the cleanup. Lol. ANYWAYS, Thursday is this weird day and if you peek back, last Thursday was bad too so we officialy (see? I am getting rhythms! yippee!) do not do our regular homeschool on Thursdays. Call it no school, call it field trip, call it what you like we go to kids korner now on Thursdays. I hope that cool babysitter girl is there everytime, too--she was so nice! She seemed like a nanny, maybe 20 years old, and we were swapping local places to take kids in the bad weather, little McDonalds with good or bad playscapes, etc. she was so nice! she totally understood what I was saying about everyplace around town, except when I came to the money or price part, her face went a little blank. haha. thats ok, she is a nanny, her employers give her money. whatever! I told her alot of places she hadnt been to and she told me about which libraries are flexible about the age-range for "toddler storytime". Awesome!
Anyhow, we went to kids korner, then we ate lunch out (! scandal! eleven dollars! so incredibly worth it! ) then we went to a park. It sounds like woo woo I am so brave and strong, but no, no, my friends, I am lazy and relaxin! The little kid energy was of the charts and outside, especially way outside like a big big park, there really isnt anything I have to say no to. The shout and scramble on the ground (I hate that in the house, the crawling and flopping on the ground--do your kids do that? Our house is too little for that it is awful!) and throw stuff and throw stuff and throw stuff. Whee! Childhood fun while Mama sits on her bum and waves. Yes, I am a hero. wink.
We didnt get home until Greta and Mickey were almost home. I was totally casual about dinner "sure, have an egg sandwhich, Greta. Yeah Mickey you can have some noodles. Sure, sure, have some cereal." nobody cared. I know that if I had one child we would do that all the time, and I also know that 5 kids and chaos equals horrific depression and badness so we only do this on Thursday evening now, but it was cool. the whole thing was cool. We are definitely going to do this again.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Wednesday School: F, white, and diamond
Wednesday we did the letter Ff and the color white and the shape diamond. We had plans for a visit which got cancelled and so it was a rather quiet day. Eska was fussy, she is getting a tooth soon, and so we had to bring her on the color walk, in the baby sling, which hurt my back and front and everything else. I couldn't push the stroller and write the things we saw, so I got the "cute" idea to wear her in a sling. Well, it turns out that there is so much white that I ended up just making little tally marks and you will never believe how many white things we found: 216! For real! It was amazing.
I read the boys a very cool book called How To Dig a Hole To The Other Side of The Earth and they wanted to go try and I aid yes. cool mom, huh? Well it was very hard digging in our yard and very very cold, but they had fun and it was a nice day.
I took Greta and Eska to the little local library in the evening to do homework in quiet. We thought they were open till 9 but it was only open till 8 so we didnt get long. I checked out some little puberty book and was gonna give it a peruse and then share it with Greta and Mickey but OH MY GOD this thing was really out there! I have alot of issues to overcome, I guess but this thing was absolutely nasty and tacky and crude with its ugly cartoons. I am so glad I read it first. There is a definite need on the market for a nice how we grow book that isnt all about hellfire and damnation nor is it chock full of disturbing, ugly 1980's cartoons that look like something out of Mad magazine or playboy. I was very grossed out by this book, the whole thing. Disappointing. We might have to continue tackling subjects without a book. No biggie. yuck.
I read the boys a very cool book called How To Dig a Hole To The Other Side of The Earth and they wanted to go try and I aid yes. cool mom, huh? Well it was very hard digging in our yard and very very cold, but they had fun and it was a nice day.
I took Greta and Eska to the little local library in the evening to do homework in quiet. We thought they were open till 9 but it was only open till 8 so we didnt get long. I checked out some little puberty book and was gonna give it a peruse and then share it with Greta and Mickey but OH MY GOD this thing was really out there! I have alot of issues to overcome, I guess but this thing was absolutely nasty and tacky and crude with its ugly cartoons. I am so glad I read it first. There is a definite need on the market for a nice how we grow book that isnt all about hellfire and damnation nor is it chock full of disturbing, ugly 1980's cartoons that look like something out of Mad magazine or playboy. I was very grossed out by this book, the whole thing. Disappointing. We might have to continue tackling subjects without a book. No biggie. yuck.
Tuesday school: scary dragon library/ bad judgement
So Tuesday, I thought we could go take Daddy to work and motor on to our local library. It isnt huge but it is nice and close. (Steve works different shifts each day, but Tuesday and Thursday he doesnt have to be in until 9am so they are good days for me and the three littlest ones to drive him to work so we have the vehicle all day. I say car and van and minivan interchangeably, but we have one vehicle, it is a minivan.) Well, we got there about 9:15 and it didnt open until 10! Argg. I got the idea to take them to the slightly farther away but enormous and gorgeous and huge and massive library about 5 miles away. This place is an architectural masterpiece, a glowing beacon of steel and glass, absolutely breathtaking. they have puppets and computers and a cafe and it is truly amazing. the kind of place I was ready to spend hours in. It has a tree house and a fake castle theme with a roaring dragon....and so after parking far away, setting up the double jogging stroller in the windy freezing parking lot, hooking up the diaperbag, the water cups, my coffee, the baby and her buckles and her protective blankets, reassuring Charlie over the din of the high winds and the dangers of the busy parking lot that no, there were no bugs in his stroller (there was an earwig like a month ago) and keeping Casey from darting away to his doom, we plodded in to the magic giant library.
and then
Charlie saw and heard the dragon. the neat, interesting, terribly poorly planned DRAGON, the fake dragon with Bose surround sound bass trembling "Snoring" and glowing eyes and ummm yep you guessed it, "Mama......I wanna go home. I wanna go home now. I wanna go home!!!!!!!!"
I have not been one of those moms who leaves the store to teach little Billy the lesson. I never have. I am too lazy too tired too overstrapped, I cant imagine being that cool or flexible or patient. If you are an ass in the store then there will be consequences, but I really have never just left on request. but dude, Charlie was HORRIFIED. He has a grimace on his face that only meant one thing: We had to leave. We tried to talk to him, but he was SO freaked out and upset that he was looking all around himself maniacally like anything could be scary, he was scared of the entire library. So we left.
On the carride home, he was already talking about "Its just pwetend, da dwagon is just pwetend, it is just a toy, he is not scawey." Maybe I did the right thing and maybe HOPEFULLY we can go back there someday soon.
We tried to "Still do" our regular school stuff and it just didnt work. they were off their schedules and everything was weird. We ended up playing in the basement and folding clothes and letting our bunny hop around and oh yeah-- we checked out a cool CD I did get to do at least that and we listened to it. It is Pete Seeger folk songs and it really is awesome. Lots of talking and story telling it is from 1959 and I think our adult friends might really appreciate it. We'll have to "burn a copy" and keep it. that still always feels like stealing!
and then
Charlie saw and heard the dragon. the neat, interesting, terribly poorly planned DRAGON, the fake dragon with Bose surround sound bass trembling "Snoring" and glowing eyes and ummm yep you guessed it, "Mama......I wanna go home. I wanna go home now. I wanna go home!!!!!!!!"
I have not been one of those moms who leaves the store to teach little Billy the lesson. I never have. I am too lazy too tired too overstrapped, I cant imagine being that cool or flexible or patient. If you are an ass in the store then there will be consequences, but I really have never just left on request. but dude, Charlie was HORRIFIED. He has a grimace on his face that only meant one thing: We had to leave. We tried to talk to him, but he was SO freaked out and upset that he was looking all around himself maniacally like anything could be scary, he was scared of the entire library. So we left.
On the carride home, he was already talking about "Its just pwetend, da dwagon is just pwetend, it is just a toy, he is not scawey." Maybe I did the right thing and maybe HOPEFULLY we can go back there someday soon.
We tried to "Still do" our regular school stuff and it just didnt work. they were off their schedules and everything was weird. We ended up playing in the basement and folding clothes and letting our bunny hop around and oh yeah-- we checked out a cool CD I did get to do at least that and we listened to it. It is Pete Seeger folk songs and it really is awesome. Lots of talking and story telling it is from 1959 and I think our adult friends might really appreciate it. We'll have to "burn a copy" and keep it. that still always feels like stealing!
Monday, October 20, 2008
Monday school: Purple, E, Oval, and rhythms working nicely
Today we did the letter E, the color purple, and the shape oval.
We are making books, 3 ring binders with those clear sleeve things in them. We fill out our letter, trace it, draw it freehand (Casey only) and do a little tracing and gluing and cutting of the letter shape and color. Although this might be remedial or babyish, they love it now and it is something that brings us together for "table time" every morning.
I am much more interested in setting up rhythms than learning new facts right now. You cant stop people especially little children from learning new facts, it happens constantly, but them forming their own connections in their own little days is their own job, I am here providing them with nice structures, rhythms, routines and some guidance, food, and love in an environment that I hope is conducive to positive safe times which ids the only way anyone can "LEARN", in safety and peace.
I am sure this ABC-123 stuff is what was going on the public school kindergarten, too, I do not fault them for "doing" "easy" stuff its just that...well the social aspects were bringing out the absolute worst in Casey and it wasnt appropriate to his positive development. None of it. As John Holt points out, and I am paraphrasing, when children are in an adverse hostile or perceived-to-be upsetting situation, they are not ready to learn and make connections, they are ready to fight, cry, rebel, act out, withdraw, and mimic negative behaviors of the 26 little strangers from who knows what kind of families.
Being around 26 little kids all day in a strange understaffed environment with confusing rules, unaccommodating scheduling, scary giant alone hot lunch program cafeteria chaos scene "I didnt get my peaches, Mama and noone helped me!" , well it was all wrong.
We are getting into a very set day now, and I love it. The boys know exactly what we are gonna do and when, and it fits their temperament and even the baby is getting a little schedule of her own! Crazy! Even though I did not set out to have set clock-times for most of this, it is becoming very precise when we do our things:
6-7 ish wake up
8 the big kids are gone and we do our letter, shape and color work at the table, including breakfast snacking. They seem to prefer grazing on apples cheese nuts etc and do not like more typical (sugary simple carbs) breakfast fare which is GOOD--so no pancakes, cereal, toast for the boys which is good good good.
930 we switch to watching signing time or playing music toys or regular working/playing such as playdoh or legos/duplos or cars, train tracks, etc.
10 we get all geared up (coat wether now) and go on our "Color Hunt". Eska sleeps in her car seat (not much longer!) while we go out front and search for items of our day's color. We found fifty two PURPLE things--imagine!
I thought purple was gonna be a weak one, but lots of purple-mauve shutters and flowers and leaves on our block. Like I said, they have known their colors since they were like 18 months old but it is the idea of a goal-oriented nature walk of sorts, as well as an exercises in paying attention-- truely stopping and being observant little people--that is the "point". We are so cute with our clipboard, walking all around our side of the street. I wonder if the neighbors see us and wonder what we are doing.
11ish the outside time turns into "Im hungry", or, they just want to play and roll and poll so I go in and make lunch, nurse Eska, etc.
1130 we eat lunch. If I have had too much coffee, I might eat quietly alone at 1. It depends.
12 we sing and read "wild stories". We get to be nice and loud, baby is awake, and they are enjoying my singing voice as I belt out the tunes I learned from back in the days of working at the nursery school, little songs about Jump Up And Down, and The Old Kentucky Fair, and all of my songs I have made up over the years. They know naptime is coming and if they are "bad", meaning, kicking each other or purposefully dancing into the glass windows and knocking everything off the shelves (hooligan boys!!) that they will have to go to bed without their special story.
1245 we read a special story or two or three :).
100pm sharp is naptime. Not too much complaining anymore, all the blame goes on the clock itself! "Oh wow look it is one oclock, guys, we have to go to rest time now"!
Casey gets to watch DIY Network in my bed and learn about installing pipes and plumbing and Charlie sleeps in his crib properly
1:05to 2:00 is MY TIME. Do the online banking, balance the budget, checking email, blogging, searching for a new dentist, pediatrician, whatnot.
2:00 Casey pops right out. Sigh. But he will play quietly and I can tidy or rest with Eska.
3:00 I get Charlie up. He is a bear and red faced and out of it for a good 15 minutes. We try to get this part over before the hurricane that is Greta, Mickey and whatever kid they drag home with them come blaring in.
3:30 hurricane
mish mosh of telling about school, snacking, dinner prep, etc.
530 dinner (???)
600 start homework
7-8 Casey to bed first, Charlie 8ish
930 big kids alseep
So our schedule is tight and yet not all the way. We are also trying to visit with little nice friends several days of the week so that would be instead of Caseys naptime. this also forgoes my rest time which is tricky. Steve has been awesomer and awesomer about "letting" me do what i need to do in the evenings if i need to. Mental health mini-errand running with just Eska, computer time, shower, rest, whatnot.
We clean all evening and have tried to say we have to stop cleaning at 10 pm so we can watch a little TV or whatever ; ) but its hard. I do not clean at all during the days right now and I guess it will slowly fit back in someday!
We are making books, 3 ring binders with those clear sleeve things in them. We fill out our letter, trace it, draw it freehand (Casey only) and do a little tracing and gluing and cutting of the letter shape and color. Although this might be remedial or babyish, they love it now and it is something that brings us together for "table time" every morning.
I am much more interested in setting up rhythms than learning new facts right now. You cant stop people especially little children from learning new facts, it happens constantly, but them forming their own connections in their own little days is their own job, I am here providing them with nice structures, rhythms, routines and some guidance, food, and love in an environment that I hope is conducive to positive safe times which ids the only way anyone can "LEARN", in safety and peace.
I am sure this ABC-123 stuff is what was going on the public school kindergarten, too, I do not fault them for "doing" "easy" stuff its just that...well the social aspects were bringing out the absolute worst in Casey and it wasnt appropriate to his positive development. None of it. As John Holt points out, and I am paraphrasing, when children are in an adverse hostile or perceived-to-be upsetting situation, they are not ready to learn and make connections, they are ready to fight, cry, rebel, act out, withdraw, and mimic negative behaviors of the 26 little strangers from who knows what kind of families.
Being around 26 little kids all day in a strange understaffed environment with confusing rules, unaccommodating scheduling, scary giant alone hot lunch program cafeteria chaos scene "I didnt get my peaches, Mama and noone helped me!" , well it was all wrong.
We are getting into a very set day now, and I love it. The boys know exactly what we are gonna do and when, and it fits their temperament and even the baby is getting a little schedule of her own! Crazy! Even though I did not set out to have set clock-times for most of this, it is becoming very precise when we do our things:
6-7 ish wake up
8 the big kids are gone and we do our letter, shape and color work at the table, including breakfast snacking. They seem to prefer grazing on apples cheese nuts etc and do not like more typical (sugary simple carbs) breakfast fare which is GOOD--so no pancakes, cereal, toast for the boys which is good good good.
930 we switch to watching signing time or playing music toys or regular working/playing such as playdoh or legos/duplos or cars, train tracks, etc.
10 we get all geared up (coat wether now) and go on our "Color Hunt". Eska sleeps in her car seat (not much longer!) while we go out front and search for items of our day's color. We found fifty two PURPLE things--imagine!
I thought purple was gonna be a weak one, but lots of purple-mauve shutters and flowers and leaves on our block. Like I said, they have known their colors since they were like 18 months old but it is the idea of a goal-oriented nature walk of sorts, as well as an exercises in paying attention-- truely stopping and being observant little people--that is the "point". We are so cute with our clipboard, walking all around our side of the street. I wonder if the neighbors see us and wonder what we are doing.
11ish the outside time turns into "Im hungry", or, they just want to play and roll and poll so I go in and make lunch, nurse Eska, etc.
1130 we eat lunch. If I have had too much coffee, I might eat quietly alone at 1. It depends.
12 we sing and read "wild stories". We get to be nice and loud, baby is awake, and they are enjoying my singing voice as I belt out the tunes I learned from back in the days of working at the nursery school, little songs about Jump Up And Down, and The Old Kentucky Fair, and all of my songs I have made up over the years. They know naptime is coming and if they are "bad", meaning, kicking each other or purposefully dancing into the glass windows and knocking everything off the shelves (hooligan boys!!) that they will have to go to bed without their special story.
1245 we read a special story or two or three :).
100pm sharp is naptime. Not too much complaining anymore, all the blame goes on the clock itself! "Oh wow look it is one oclock, guys, we have to go to rest time now"!
Casey gets to watch DIY Network in my bed and learn about installing pipes and plumbing and Charlie sleeps in his crib properly
1:05to 2:00 is MY TIME. Do the online banking, balance the budget, checking email, blogging, searching for a new dentist, pediatrician, whatnot.
2:00 Casey pops right out. Sigh. But he will play quietly and I can tidy or rest with Eska.
3:00 I get Charlie up. He is a bear and red faced and out of it for a good 15 minutes. We try to get this part over before the hurricane that is Greta, Mickey and whatever kid they drag home with them come blaring in.
3:30 hurricane
mish mosh of telling about school, snacking, dinner prep, etc.
530 dinner (???)
600 start homework
7-8 Casey to bed first, Charlie 8ish
930 big kids alseep
So our schedule is tight and yet not all the way. We are also trying to visit with little nice friends several days of the week so that would be instead of Caseys naptime. this also forgoes my rest time which is tricky. Steve has been awesomer and awesomer about "letting" me do what i need to do in the evenings if i need to. Mental health mini-errand running with just Eska, computer time, shower, rest, whatnot.
We clean all evening and have tried to say we have to stop cleaning at 10 pm so we can watch a little TV or whatever ; ) but its hard. I do not clean at all during the days right now and I guess it will slowly fit back in someday!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Friday school: Green, D, heart, construction paper, outdoors quiet fun
Today has been great!
We did letter D, and our days of the week song, and worked with construction paper on some Halloweenish stuff, and drew hearts and played Wii bowling and Wii tennis and then went outside for a grand hunt of GREEN--we got 102 things! We stayed outside for a long long time and the boys "made instruments" out of wood and cement and rubbish and got into this real nice zone of quietly playing and working and talking to themselves. about 2 hours of that and then I announced naptime to no complaints.
This new routine is getting nicer and nicer!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Thursday
Today we didnt do school too much. We had to run Daddy around on errands all morning and then we met some good old friends at a park and it was super cold and Charlie was crying and bad. It happens.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Wednesday school: C, Orange, Square, Visiting
Today was letter C. And color Orange. We found 46 Orange things on our hike. The boys are falling into their routine nicely now. Eska chews her rattle and growls..she is getting some teeth soon it seems! We went visiting our good friend and her little girl and had lunch time with them at their place. The boys are so calm and well mannered at places--very good and odd I must admit! Makes me want to live on the road! I am excited about these new habits and there is a new sweet twist: MICKEY is all supportive of us homeschooling Casey (!) and he sets up our white board every night. He has become a much nicer brother lately. Maybe he needed some space without toddlers. They are adorable in moderate doses, aren't they?
(For those of you who wanted some pictures of our house on the Heart and Home blog, Iam going to take some official ones soon, but you can appreciate how tiny our cute little kitchen is in some of the pictures here, you can see the little "footprint" of white tiles--thats the whole thing! Also, in the picture where Charlie is gluing you can see the little opening to my bedroom and over there is the bathroom and nursery.)
I have been trying to buy a planner, returned two, looked into printables, making my own, but I finally got one at WalMart for 5 bucks that will work! Now I will begin the monumental task of filling it out with all the school stuff....
I think I will get creative and MAKE by hand something that works for me and then xerox the pages and make a binder. Maybe I'll handwrite it in black marker so it is extra cool. Do people still say xerox? LOL have a great day!
MamaJoy
"I had it made"
Things were incredibly easy and calm for me those 5 weeks that Casey was in school. It was kind of insane, how quiet and Joy-Centered my time instantly became. I went from completely harried and overwhelmed depressed anxious chaos Mom of 5 to clean and serene lady sipping coffee in her squeaky clean house with a sleeping newborn and one little Charlie who was playing playdoh all morning with classical music on. It was awesome.
BUT it was not awesome for Casey and the rest taught me alot. I learned to budget time and money in a whole new way. I caught up on my house. I rearranged some rooms (didnt do the heavy lifting, I promise) and straightened stuff up. I read. I thought. I...could have used more time but it was enough to feel ready for the task that is raising Casey. It is completely different than any other childcare I have ever encountered.
So, I "had it made" and yet that is ridiculous. No mother has it made whose child is miserable. Now I have it made...in a different way. My child is safe and happy and therefore, we all "have it made".
BUT it was not awesome for Casey and the rest taught me alot. I learned to budget time and money in a whole new way. I caught up on my house. I rearranged some rooms (didnt do the heavy lifting, I promise) and straightened stuff up. I read. I thought. I...could have used more time but it was enough to feel ready for the task that is raising Casey. It is completely different than any other childcare I have ever encountered.
So, I "had it made" and yet that is ridiculous. No mother has it made whose child is miserable. Now I have it made...in a different way. My child is safe and happy and therefore, we all "have it made".
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Tuesday school: B, Yellow, cookies, and a visit
Today we did B. Coloring, cutting, drawing, gluing, tracing and then writing big B and little b. Our color was yellow and we went outside for a hunt of yellow things. We found forty-two! We also made and baked cookies and then had a fine lunch of black bean and tomato nachos. The boys watched one TV show while I tidied and retidied and tidied some more for our guests: My mom and my 5 1/2 year old nephew.
It was freezing and rainy all morning, thus the 2 coats in the pictures..but by the time they came it was warm and sunny : ) Charlie got to visit a bit before his nap (he is the first child we have had who CANNOT miss his nap lest hell be unleashed in the form of screeching and tantruming and worse by 3pm)
Casey and his cousin played that they were "chopping guys" (Ax Men?) and took huge branches and whacked away at the wood pile out back, then talked us into a little video game action. I was happy to show my mom a little that not all video games are "bad" and she had to admit that the Wii Bowling was very harmless, simple, and amusing. She and I disagree about video games to some extent, but they are a real part of our family's life and so is outdoor play and wood toys and imagination and all that stuff too and so I appreciate her checking out the video-bowling with us, it ended up fun and funny. and alot easier than taking 4 little kids to actual bowling, LOL
Greta and Mickey had MEAP testing today at school and they said it wasn't too bad. The school gave them lots of extra recess in between tests and they loved that. It was literally perfect weather today, maybe 68 and sunny, so all in all, a good day if not somewhat exhausting.
Monday, October 13, 2008
so far, cool
OOH I forgot to tell you!
I dropped off a letter sealed in an envelope to the Principal's mailbox Friday. It was extremely succinct and basically said Casey will no longer be attending ___elementary for the 2008-2009 schoolyear, we have made alternate arrangements for his education. Signed, Joy and Steve...
He called today and left a neutral sounding message, just wanted to "touch base". Then I called him back, and was happy to play phone tag and get HIS voicemail, to which I left a cheery message thanking him for calling and then I just spat out some little thing about we like your school but we have found something that we feel is more appropriate for Casey--click--
I wonder if there will be anymore "fallout"? I don't have to walk up there anymore so I can kind of "hide"...the neighbors haven't found out yet....I'm just not in the mood to retell the (non) "story" everyday you know? I am sure there will be some stuff to come but so far smooth sailing :)
I dropped off a letter sealed in an envelope to the Principal's mailbox Friday. It was extremely succinct and basically said Casey will no longer be attending ___elementary for the 2008-2009 schoolyear, we have made alternate arrangements for his education. Signed, Joy and Steve...
He called today and left a neutral sounding message, just wanted to "touch base". Then I called him back, and was happy to play phone tag and get HIS voicemail, to which I left a cheery message thanking him for calling and then I just spat out some little thing about we like your school but we have found something that we feel is more appropriate for Casey--click--
I wonder if there will be anymore "fallout"? I don't have to walk up there anymore so I can kind of "hide"...the neighbors haven't found out yet....I'm just not in the mood to retell the (non) "story" everyday you know? I am sure there will be some stuff to come but so far smooth sailing :)
Monday school: A, Red, fire safety, and fresh air play
Today we "did" the letter A. What does that mean?
I drew a huge Aa and then I wrote one made out of dashes to be traced and then Casey had to write his very best A and a freehand. Then we sang a song about the 2 sounds that A makes. Then we thought of some words that start with A.
Our color of the day today was red. We went outside and found fifty three things that were red, and wrote them down together, in, of course, red crayon!
Then I read to them all about fire safety--we had some really impressive pamphlets from the Boy Scout fire safety thing that Mickey attended this weekend that had some good information in them so we read all about stop drop and roll, crawling below the smoke, don't play with matches, gas, or candles and how to treat burns.
We made Jello for dinnertime together, played out in the leaves for a good long while, and had a healthy lunch of:
sunflower seeds
cheese cubes
whole grain pb+j
cottage cheese
and Tang or chocolate milk.
Now is naptime which we preceded with a reading of Green Eyes, a sweet library book about the seasons.
Mickey was feverish and congested yesterday and was when he woke up so per school rules about fevers, he stayed home today. That is why he is in these pictures. Tomorrow they have MEAP tests and he cant miss those so we erred on the side of caution.
All three boys are resting and Eska is hungry so gotta go for now! Enjoy this warm weather...
Thursday, October 9, 2008
listing what we did and looking for what works so we can have a schedule soon
Tuesday we went to Kids Korner in the morning, came home and had healthy lunch, a little free time with playdoh and music, and then naps. For Casey AND Charlie. I was hoping Casey would stay in bed but not sleep and thats exactly what he did. Cool. If he sleeps he will not be tired anywhere near bedtime (730 to 9 ish) and that will be a problem, especially for Steve. But I want my afternoon break! Need is more like it! So Casey rested for about an hour, Charlie took his usually 2+ hour nap.
Wednesday we did a bit of school at home. We talked about what Casey liked about school and what he wanted to continue at home. He didnt "like" anything except gym but he said they were on letter "Y" and so we made some Y's out of cheerios and paper and he spontaneously wrote Yo-yo over and over and we agreed that that was a great fun Y word.
Casey Charlie and I did "music class" with Eska in the basement around 9 in the morning. I played Woody Guthries childrens songs (they are super primal and great, really a beautiful side of Woody) and I laid out 4 little receiving blankets on the floor. White, yellow, blue, and pink, each with one instrument in the middle. I acted all teachery and said "Pick a color!" and the boys scrambled to one blanket, then I went to another one, and one was empty. We then played along with Woody for maybe a minute and then I yelled SWITCH! again. They were very into it but then there was a scuffle about them both wanting the drum. See? Socialization! LOL Later the game turned into dancing and then the interest was waning and so we made a production about folding all the blankets up and turning down all the lights and watching Signing Time, a precious show on PBS about sign language. Eska jumped in her doorway jumper thing (yes she is strong enough for that already! she LOVES it!) and then Daddy brought us the minivan home for his lunchbreak and we took him back to work and went to good ole WalMart for a few things.
We got a whiteboard/dry erase thing and a few more little officey supplies that Casey adores. 3 dollar stapler, etc. SO he "made books" for the rest of the day, evening and now is currently doing so! I must hook up the scanner to show you his cute work.
Today is Thursday and all the kids have no school for Yom Kippur. Things are a bit haphazard which is sometimes ok but I am really sleepy this morning so it has to be. Greta is still asleep and it is 11am. Poor kid.
We are going to go to the zoo or park or something later, all of the kids and me. We get along great when we are out but when we are all home everyone dissipates, which is to be expected, but it makes me a little sad. I miss when we all sat and played together. If I drag them to a place it might happen!
I am looking forward to trying out little things and seeing rhythms and patterns. It is of great importance for me to come up with "Tuesday is library day", etc for the homeschool year. I think it is abundantly clear that a "third party", even if it is the homemade chart or calendar, helps us a great deal to know what to do. I know our timeline at least:
6ish Casey and Charlie wake up
7 wake up Greta and Mickey
8 Greta and Mickey have to be in school
8 to 11 Homeschool activities
11 to 12ish lunchtime
12 to 1 quiet play/I read to the boys
1 naptime
2 Casey gets up (?)
3 I get Charlie up
330 the big kids get home
now this part is all a mess, the 330 to dinner.......
Some nights are boy scouts, girls scouts, daddy needs a ride, daddy works late, all a mess
Some ideas bandied about of me taking one kid to the library for quiet homework help, hasnt happened yet
730 Casey to bed
745 Charlie to bed
830 to 9ish Greta and Mickey go upstairs and hang out/play video game/watch tv
930 Greta and Mickey asleep
Thats it so far! We haven't had one full week yet where there was no holiday or noone home sick so time will tell. Ideas?
Wednesday we did a bit of school at home. We talked about what Casey liked about school and what he wanted to continue at home. He didnt "like" anything except gym but he said they were on letter "Y" and so we made some Y's out of cheerios and paper and he spontaneously wrote Yo-yo over and over and we agreed that that was a great fun Y word.
Casey Charlie and I did "music class" with Eska in the basement around 9 in the morning. I played Woody Guthries childrens songs (they are super primal and great, really a beautiful side of Woody) and I laid out 4 little receiving blankets on the floor. White, yellow, blue, and pink, each with one instrument in the middle. I acted all teachery and said "Pick a color!" and the boys scrambled to one blanket, then I went to another one, and one was empty. We then played along with Woody for maybe a minute and then I yelled SWITCH! again. They were very into it but then there was a scuffle about them both wanting the drum. See? Socialization! LOL Later the game turned into dancing and then the interest was waning and so we made a production about folding all the blankets up and turning down all the lights and watching Signing Time, a precious show on PBS about sign language. Eska jumped in her doorway jumper thing (yes she is strong enough for that already! she LOVES it!) and then Daddy brought us the minivan home for his lunchbreak and we took him back to work and went to good ole WalMart for a few things.
We got a whiteboard/dry erase thing and a few more little officey supplies that Casey adores. 3 dollar stapler, etc. SO he "made books" for the rest of the day, evening and now is currently doing so! I must hook up the scanner to show you his cute work.
Today is Thursday and all the kids have no school for Yom Kippur. Things are a bit haphazard which is sometimes ok but I am really sleepy this morning so it has to be. Greta is still asleep and it is 11am. Poor kid.
We are going to go to the zoo or park or something later, all of the kids and me. We get along great when we are out but when we are all home everyone dissipates, which is to be expected, but it makes me a little sad. I miss when we all sat and played together. If I drag them to a place it might happen!
I am looking forward to trying out little things and seeing rhythms and patterns. It is of great importance for me to come up with "Tuesday is library day", etc for the homeschool year. I think it is abundantly clear that a "third party", even if it is the homemade chart or calendar, helps us a great deal to know what to do. I know our timeline at least:
6ish Casey and Charlie wake up
7 wake up Greta and Mickey
8 Greta and Mickey have to be in school
8 to 11 Homeschool activities
11 to 12ish lunchtime
12 to 1 quiet play/I read to the boys
1 naptime
2 Casey gets up (?)
3 I get Charlie up
330 the big kids get home
now this part is all a mess, the 330 to dinner.......
Some nights are boy scouts, girls scouts, daddy needs a ride, daddy works late, all a mess
Some ideas bandied about of me taking one kid to the library for quiet homework help, hasnt happened yet
730 Casey to bed
745 Charlie to bed
830 to 9ish Greta and Mickey go upstairs and hang out/play video game/watch tv
930 Greta and Mickey asleep
Thats it so far! We haven't had one full week yet where there was no holiday or noone home sick so time will tell. Ideas?
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Trust
First read this. It is more eloquent than I can muster today or maybe ever. Then brace yourselves for not too much of a shock: Casey is coming back home. Today is Tuesday and I called him in "sick". They have Thursday off anyways and well, I think he is done, done. As of what happened yesterday and the continued stories that are coming to us via the teacher, the principal, and Casey himself, there really is no need to waste even one more iota of anyone's time with this little failed experiment. I am sure his poor teacher, bless her heart, won't be too heartbroken LOL
He, his brother Charlie, and his baby sister Eskarina and I spent a very gentle and quiet and beautiful morning today at Kids Korner, which is a little place in a nearby town that is near and dear to our hearts. All it is is a room at the community center which is filled with toys, both gross motor and fine motor, and they worked and built and dug and drew and laughed and ran and hugged and kissed and climbed and chatted and shared and sang and co-operated and thought and grew and learned in peace and safety and--peace some more. Casey was a wonderful boy and extraordinarily kind and composed. I got multiple complements on my children--Casey in particular--something I used to take for granted but something that doesn't seem to happen much lately, especially in the past year. We came home to a preservative-free whole foods lunch of tomatos, carrots, apples, red peppers, popcorn and cheddar cheese with ice water. We will be eating like this from now on, at least for lunch. The TV never came on once. (Neither did any tantrums, outbursts or bad behavior! Hmm...)
It IS funny and ironic how we were just this homeschooling family for over 7 years, who tried school on for a change and now that it is working beautifully for the 2 oldest kids and failing miserably for little Casey, that I find myself feeling all nervous and outcast and shy and even scared to "announce" (?!?!) our radical plans to "everyone". Who gives a flying crap? I think my whole ride on the postpartum depression coaster has still got me a bit shaky as far as changes and self confidence are concerned--but that is improving rapidly, daily, hourly, even. I actually havent been this happy in a very, very long time.
I did note to Steve last night that it is amazing what a HUGE thing school truly, truly is in the community, how it can completley take over the entire life of a family--and how confidently and casually we just didnt participate in it, ever. Now I feel scared and freaky to write the big letter proclaiming that Mister Casey is gonna drop out. LOL. Be Homeschooled. Not be returning. See ya in 3rd grade or something, maybe. I do not anticipate any trouble, but I feel weird and I feel weird about feeling weird--silly, right?
I don't want to have to have some "big explanation" every time we leave the house, but I am going to have to, in a way. See, we have neighbors now, everywhere, in fact, and they are ALL deeply invested in this school system. Coaches, Den Leaders, Volunteers, Helpers, Parents, Friends. They will not "get it" and will want a big story and I am not going to give it to them. So I searched my soul and didn't have to search too deeply to come up with this answer:
Our family thinks that early childhood is spent best in homeschool, and that we can provide a better educational environment for our kids when they are very young. Casey will probably be going to ___Elementary in a year or two.
He had another social run-in yesterday which landed him in the Principal's office. If any of you could possibly, possibly get your hands on any of the books by The Moores that I linked to last post, and read what they have to say about 4, 5 and 6 year olds and even a little bit older being in a age-segregated peer group all day long, and then if you could see and read and follow us as we start our own "school year" here at home, I hope you will agree that we are doing what is truly best for this particular child.
but if not, I guess you will just have to trust that we trust, and believe that we believe...in Casey.
This isn't rash or hasty--only sending him was. I am more excited about this than even back in 2001--I feel more than ready for the challenge(s) ahead. I love my little Casey and am 100% certain that there was not one thing positive going on there for him, and a whole lotta negative stuff that was only just beginning.
Thanks in advance for your support, and, your TRUST. I leave you with my most heartfelt observation/conclusion:
I feel more certain than ever that little kids do not belong in that environment. I feel more sure than ever that when a child is given a gentle and sheltered --(yes that controversial word that is totally appropriate if not our most important job as parents!--) early childhood filled with a true love of learning and a safe space in which to unfold and unfurl as a person, under the close supervision on a loving dedicated caregiver in a very low adult-to-child ratio, that they can go on to become wonderful, dedicated and committed, connected, self-motivated and solid students in any capacity. We provided that for Mickey and Greta and so we will continue on with the littlest three.
After a few weeks of "de-tox" we do plan on re-joining our local homeschool groups on some of their outings and little classses, field trips, etc.
Tomorrow I think we'll use our zoo pass! Yipee!
He, his brother Charlie, and his baby sister Eskarina and I spent a very gentle and quiet and beautiful morning today at Kids Korner, which is a little place in a nearby town that is near and dear to our hearts. All it is is a room at the community center which is filled with toys, both gross motor and fine motor, and they worked and built and dug and drew and laughed and ran and hugged and kissed and climbed and chatted and shared and sang and co-operated and thought and grew and learned in peace and safety and--peace some more. Casey was a wonderful boy and extraordinarily kind and composed. I got multiple complements on my children--Casey in particular--something I used to take for granted but something that doesn't seem to happen much lately, especially in the past year. We came home to a preservative-free whole foods lunch of tomatos, carrots, apples, red peppers, popcorn and cheddar cheese with ice water. We will be eating like this from now on, at least for lunch. The TV never came on once. (Neither did any tantrums, outbursts or bad behavior! Hmm...)
It IS funny and ironic how we were just this homeschooling family for over 7 years, who tried school on for a change and now that it is working beautifully for the 2 oldest kids and failing miserably for little Casey, that I find myself feeling all nervous and outcast and shy and even scared to "announce" (?!?!) our radical plans to "everyone". Who gives a flying crap? I think my whole ride on the postpartum depression coaster has still got me a bit shaky as far as changes and self confidence are concerned--but that is improving rapidly, daily, hourly, even. I actually havent been this happy in a very, very long time.
I did note to Steve last night that it is amazing what a HUGE thing school truly, truly is in the community, how it can completley take over the entire life of a family--and how confidently and casually we just didnt participate in it, ever. Now I feel scared and freaky to write the big letter proclaiming that Mister Casey is gonna drop out. LOL. Be Homeschooled. Not be returning. See ya in 3rd grade or something, maybe. I do not anticipate any trouble, but I feel weird and I feel weird about feeling weird--silly, right?
I don't want to have to have some "big explanation" every time we leave the house, but I am going to have to, in a way. See, we have neighbors now, everywhere, in fact, and they are ALL deeply invested in this school system. Coaches, Den Leaders, Volunteers, Helpers, Parents, Friends. They will not "get it" and will want a big story and I am not going to give it to them. So I searched my soul and didn't have to search too deeply to come up with this answer:
Our family thinks that early childhood is spent best in homeschool, and that we can provide a better educational environment for our kids when they are very young. Casey will probably be going to ___Elementary in a year or two.
He had another social run-in yesterday which landed him in the Principal's office. If any of you could possibly, possibly get your hands on any of the books by The Moores that I linked to last post, and read what they have to say about 4, 5 and 6 year olds and even a little bit older being in a age-segregated peer group all day long, and then if you could see and read and follow us as we start our own "school year" here at home, I hope you will agree that we are doing what is truly best for this particular child.
but if not, I guess you will just have to trust that we trust, and believe that we believe...in Casey.
This isn't rash or hasty--only sending him was. I am more excited about this than even back in 2001--I feel more than ready for the challenge(s) ahead. I love my little Casey and am 100% certain that there was not one thing positive going on there for him, and a whole lotta negative stuff that was only just beginning.
Thanks in advance for your support, and, your TRUST. I leave you with my most heartfelt observation/conclusion:
For Casey, School was only a pathetic substitute for home.
For Greta and Mickey, home was becoming pathetic substitute for school.
I feel more certain than ever that little kids do not belong in that environment. I feel more sure than ever that when a child is given a gentle and sheltered --(yes that controversial word that is totally appropriate if not our most important job as parents!--) early childhood filled with a true love of learning and a safe space in which to unfold and unfurl as a person, under the close supervision on a loving dedicated caregiver in a very low adult-to-child ratio, that they can go on to become wonderful, dedicated and committed, connected, self-motivated and solid students in any capacity. We provided that for Mickey and Greta and so we will continue on with the littlest three.
After a few weeks of "de-tox" we do plan on re-joining our local homeschool groups on some of their outings and little classses, field trips, etc.
Tomorrow I think we'll use our zoo pass! Yipee!
Friday, October 3, 2008
Friday October 3 update
I have lots of big ideas but no time to post them so here is just an update!
GRETA:
She is absolutely flourishing in her school. I am incredibly impressed with the subjects she is learning, the work she is producing and the stories she is sharing with me. Only one minor run in with some snotty "mean girls" which was prompty handled by 2 teachers and seemed to barey phase Greta. She loves her homework, loves math (!!!!!!!!!!) and the teachers adore her. She doesnt grumble in the mornings, she is eager to do her homework and to egt everything in on time, and just basically is rockin out and we are astonished and so so proud at the grace with which she has transitioned into school. We attribute a ton of this good attitude to her days as a respected homeschooled little one who didnt have to "Endure" a bunch of bullcrap to get her basics down pat.
MICKEY:
He is doing really well on his assignments, getting grades like 19/20 on little spelling tests and such, making nice friends, trying new foods, etc. He is having a very hard time getting up so early and seems a little down sometimes. He has to be deeply cajoled to do his homework or really anything on his allowance chart such as preparing his outfit or brushing his teeth even! Lazy boy.He has an excellent sweet and very very loving and connected teacher whom he is close to. He misses me and i think the days are a bit long for him but he is doing well otherwise. He is full of happy stories about his days and seems to completely "get" what it is he is supossed to do all day and enjoying it all.
CASEY:
He is overwhelmed. Confused. Lots of micro-tragedies seem to be consuming his days. He didnt get his dessert. So and so kicked him. They lost his pillow. They wont let him go potty. He lost his quarters. He already knows "triangle" and "The color green" and "A is for Apple". He is tired, he has been sick since the first week pretty much, and he is overwhelmed with all the rules they bombard you with in Kindergarten. I liken it to boot camp, break their spirits so you can then control their minds. Understandable. Its crowd control. There are rules in this life young man. Toughen them up. Except I dont want that for my little Casey. The other two are living proof which I did not need anyway that you can be a fine student without all that boot camp. I think Casey is way too young and bored and sad and they are stifling and smothering him.
I have had pulling him out of Kindergarten on my mind, and I am re-reading Home Grown Kids by the Moores, authors of several other fascinating and solid books such as Better Late Than Early, and School Can Wait. I do not want to do anything hasty, but it is on the "front burner", I promise you. The last thing we are "about" as a family is squelching little kids and breaking their hearts and telling them thats nothow we draw flowers honey or you cant go to the bathroom! Grrr
It is funny to me that I am actually fearing/dreading the backlash of "people" if we pulled little Casey out and brought him back home--when here we were a complete, all the way till 12th grade homeschooling family out and proud and in your face with the bumperstickers and all just this August. I dont care, but I am not looking forward to it. School isnt even compulsary here until age 6 and homeschooling is totally legal so it would be one little letter to type but I want to wait and think about what we would do that would be really great and not just watch Noggin and fight. (NOthing wrong with that but I want more or else the taxation on Charlie and Eska and myself would seem to be lost. I want to show Casey a really enriching incredible year and well right now I am just getting back into the swing of things like taking a shower and being off medications kniw?)
B U T
My mental health has just just started to get strong again and I want to be careful. Even though today I liken his school days as about on par with a mediocre daycare, he also does have some happy stories and some cute little friends and seems to enjoy some of it. So I am reading, soul searching, studying, preparing and thinking. Would him being home turn me back into that screaming swearing Mama again with the chaotic house and the omnipresent TV blaring? Did we throw the baby out with the bathwater by sending Casey to school---I mean, its so ironic and strange really that this whole "School" thing started with the notion that "If Casey goes to school we can have some peace to teach the older kids..." and then BAM post partum depression and loss of family life as anyone knew it and all three are sent to school! Strange.
I have peace and quiet now. Me and Charlie and ESka have the most darling gentle little days imaginable and it is heavenly.
but
but
but
I have my entire life to listen to classical music and sip coffees and sweep the floors and make uninterrupted phone calls. Casey only has one childhood and I vowed to do the VERY BEST by my kids every single year. As of now, I dont know what is best. They were off school Tuesday and I was ready to dig for an old Vicodin by 11am. Casey was insane, outside breaking the neighbor's fence, hitting Charlie, defying me, and I was crying, cursing, and shaking just like I was 2 months ago. BUT....they were also off school Wednesday and it was wonderful. We went to a park with some friends and he played nicer than anyone could imagine, for hours upon hours in the cold.
So if/when Casey is back home, things will not be like they are now. I will need to dig VERY deep as to what would be an appropriate "homeschool day" for him, and see if what I come up with would be a detriment to Eska or Charlie. I would need filed trips, daily activities, trips, a tight schedule, (and energy and a little money and a few supplies) to make it work. He isnt a "sit around and read or whatever" kind of boy. Little does he know how intently I am studying him when he is home right now....
thats all for now!
GRETA:
She is absolutely flourishing in her school. I am incredibly impressed with the subjects she is learning, the work she is producing and the stories she is sharing with me. Only one minor run in with some snotty "mean girls" which was prompty handled by 2 teachers and seemed to barey phase Greta. She loves her homework, loves math (!!!!!!!!!!) and the teachers adore her. She doesnt grumble in the mornings, she is eager to do her homework and to egt everything in on time, and just basically is rockin out and we are astonished and so so proud at the grace with which she has transitioned into school. We attribute a ton of this good attitude to her days as a respected homeschooled little one who didnt have to "Endure" a bunch of bullcrap to get her basics down pat.
MICKEY:
He is doing really well on his assignments, getting grades like 19/20 on little spelling tests and such, making nice friends, trying new foods, etc. He is having a very hard time getting up so early and seems a little down sometimes. He has to be deeply cajoled to do his homework or really anything on his allowance chart such as preparing his outfit or brushing his teeth even! Lazy boy.He has an excellent sweet and very very loving and connected teacher whom he is close to. He misses me and i think the days are a bit long for him but he is doing well otherwise. He is full of happy stories about his days and seems to completely "get" what it is he is supossed to do all day and enjoying it all.
CASEY:
He is overwhelmed. Confused. Lots of micro-tragedies seem to be consuming his days. He didnt get his dessert. So and so kicked him. They lost his pillow. They wont let him go potty. He lost his quarters. He already knows "triangle" and "The color green" and "A is for Apple". He is tired, he has been sick since the first week pretty much, and he is overwhelmed with all the rules they bombard you with in Kindergarten. I liken it to boot camp, break their spirits so you can then control their minds. Understandable. Its crowd control. There are rules in this life young man. Toughen them up. Except I dont want that for my little Casey. The other two are living proof which I did not need anyway that you can be a fine student without all that boot camp. I think Casey is way too young and bored and sad and they are stifling and smothering him.
I have had pulling him out of Kindergarten on my mind, and I am re-reading Home Grown Kids by the Moores, authors of several other fascinating and solid books such as Better Late Than Early, and School Can Wait. I do not want to do anything hasty, but it is on the "front burner", I promise you. The last thing we are "about" as a family is squelching little kids and breaking their hearts and telling them thats nothow we draw flowers honey or you cant go to the bathroom! Grrr
It is funny to me that I am actually fearing/dreading the backlash of "people" if we pulled little Casey out and brought him back home--when here we were a complete, all the way till 12th grade homeschooling family out and proud and in your face with the bumperstickers and all just this August. I dont care, but I am not looking forward to it. School isnt even compulsary here until age 6 and homeschooling is totally legal so it would be one little letter to type but I want to wait and think about what we would do that would be really great and not just watch Noggin and fight. (NOthing wrong with that but I want more or else the taxation on Charlie and Eska and myself would seem to be lost. I want to show Casey a really enriching incredible year and well right now I am just getting back into the swing of things like taking a shower and being off medications kniw?)
B U T
My mental health has just just started to get strong again and I want to be careful. Even though today I liken his school days as about on par with a mediocre daycare, he also does have some happy stories and some cute little friends and seems to enjoy some of it. So I am reading, soul searching, studying, preparing and thinking. Would him being home turn me back into that screaming swearing Mama again with the chaotic house and the omnipresent TV blaring? Did we throw the baby out with the bathwater by sending Casey to school---I mean, its so ironic and strange really that this whole "School" thing started with the notion that "If Casey goes to school we can have some peace to teach the older kids..." and then BAM post partum depression and loss of family life as anyone knew it and all three are sent to school! Strange.
I have peace and quiet now. Me and Charlie and ESka have the most darling gentle little days imaginable and it is heavenly.
but
but
but
I have my entire life to listen to classical music and sip coffees and sweep the floors and make uninterrupted phone calls. Casey only has one childhood and I vowed to do the VERY BEST by my kids every single year. As of now, I dont know what is best. They were off school Tuesday and I was ready to dig for an old Vicodin by 11am. Casey was insane, outside breaking the neighbor's fence, hitting Charlie, defying me, and I was crying, cursing, and shaking just like I was 2 months ago. BUT....they were also off school Wednesday and it was wonderful. We went to a park with some friends and he played nicer than anyone could imagine, for hours upon hours in the cold.
So if/when Casey is back home, things will not be like they are now. I will need to dig VERY deep as to what would be an appropriate "homeschool day" for him, and see if what I come up with would be a detriment to Eska or Charlie. I would need filed trips, daily activities, trips, a tight schedule, (and energy and a little money and a few supplies) to make it work. He isnt a "sit around and read or whatever" kind of boy. Little does he know how intently I am studying him when he is home right now....
thats all for now!
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