Friday October 3 update

I have lots of big ideas but no time to post them so here is just an update!

GRETA:
She is absolutely flourishing in her school. I am incredibly impressed with the subjects she is learning, the work she is producing and the stories she is sharing with me. Only one minor run in with some snotty "mean girls" which was prompty handled by 2 teachers and seemed to barey phase Greta. She loves her homework, loves math (!!!!!!!!!!) and the teachers adore her. She doesnt grumble in the mornings, she is eager to do her homework and to egt everything in on time, and just basically is rockin out and we are astonished and so so proud at the grace with which she has transitioned into school. We attribute a ton of this good attitude to her days as a respected homeschooled little one who didnt have to "Endure" a bunch of bullcrap to get her basics down pat.

MICKEY:
He is doing really well on his assignments, getting grades like 19/20 on little spelling tests and such, making nice friends, trying new foods, etc. He is having a very hard time getting up so early and seems a little down sometimes. He has to be deeply cajoled to do his homework or really anything on his allowance chart such as preparing his outfit or brushing his teeth even! Lazy boy.He has an excellent sweet and very very loving and connected teacher whom he is close to. He misses me and i think the days are a bit long for him but he is doing well otherwise. He is full of happy stories about his days and seems to completely "get" what it is he is supossed to do all day and enjoying it all.

CASEY:
He is overwhelmed. Confused. Lots of micro-tragedies seem to be consuming his days. He didnt get his dessert. So and so kicked him. They lost his pillow. They wont let him go potty. He lost his quarters. He already knows "triangle" and "The color green" and "A is for Apple". He is tired, he has been sick since the first week pretty much, and he is overwhelmed with all the rules they bombard you with in Kindergarten. I liken it to boot camp, break their spirits so you can then control their minds. Understandable. Its crowd control. There are rules in this life young man. Toughen them up. Except I dont want that for my little Casey. The other two are living proof which I did not need anyway that you can be a fine student without all that boot camp. I think Casey is way too young and bored and sad and they are stifling and smothering him.

I have had pulling him out of Kindergarten on my mind, and I am re-reading Home Grown Kids by the Moores, authors of several other fascinating and solid books such as Better Late Than Early, and School Can Wait. I do not want to do anything hasty, but it is on the "front burner", I promise you. The last thing we are "about" as a family is squelching little kids and breaking their hearts and telling them thats nothow we draw flowers honey or you cant go to the bathroom! Grrr

It is funny to me that I am actually fearing/dreading the backlash of "people" if we pulled little Casey out and brought him back home--when here we were a complete, all the way till 12th grade homeschooling family out and proud and in your face with the bumperstickers and all just this August. I dont care, but I am not looking forward to it. School isnt even compulsary here until age 6 and homeschooling is totally legal so it would be one little letter to type but I want to wait and think about what we would do that would be really great and not just watch Noggin and fight. (NOthing wrong with that but I want more or else the taxation on Charlie and Eska and myself would seem to be lost. I want to show Casey a really enriching incredible year and well right now I am just getting back into the swing of things like taking a shower and being off medications kniw?)

B U T
My mental health has just just started to get strong again and I want to be careful. Even though today I liken his school days as about on par with a mediocre daycare, he also does have some happy stories and some cute little friends and seems to enjoy some of it. So I am reading, soul searching, studying, preparing and thinking. Would him being home turn me back into that screaming swearing Mama again with the chaotic house and the omnipresent TV blaring? Did we throw the baby out with the bathwater by sending Casey to school---I mean, its so ironic and strange really that this whole "School" thing started with the notion that "If Casey goes to school we can have some peace to teach the older kids..." and then BAM post partum depression and loss of family life as anyone knew it and all three are sent to school! Strange.

I have peace and quiet now. Me and Charlie and ESka have the most darling gentle little days imaginable and it is heavenly.
but
but
but
I have my entire life to listen to classical music and sip coffees and sweep the floors and make uninterrupted phone calls. Casey only has one childhood and I vowed to do the VERY BEST by my kids every single year. As of now, I dont know what is best. They were off school Tuesday and I was ready to dig for an old Vicodin by 11am. Casey was insane, outside breaking the neighbor's fence, hitting Charlie, defying me, and I was crying, cursing, and shaking just like I was 2 months ago. BUT....they were also off school Wednesday and it was wonderful. We went to a park with some friends and he played nicer than anyone could imagine, for hours upon hours in the cold.

So if/when Casey is back home, things will not be like they are now. I will need to dig VERY deep as to what would be an appropriate "homeschool day" for him, and see if what I come up with would be a detriment to Eska or Charlie. I would need filed trips, daily activities, trips, a tight schedule, (and energy and a little money and a few supplies) to make it work. He isnt a "sit around and read or whatever" kind of boy. Little does he know how intently I am studying him when he is home right now....

thats all for now!