He, his brother Charlie, and his baby sister Eskarina and I spent a very gentle and quiet and beautiful morning today at Kids Korner, which is a little place in a nearby town that is near and dear to our hearts. All it is is a room at the community center which is filled with toys, both gross motor and fine motor, and they worked and built and dug and drew and laughed and ran and hugged and kissed and climbed and chatted and shared and sang and co-operated and thought and grew and learned in peace and safety and--peace some more. Casey was a wonderful boy and extraordinarily kind and composed. I got multiple complements on my children--Casey in particular--something I used to take for granted but something that doesn't seem to happen much lately, especially in the past year. We came home to a preservative-free whole foods lunch of tomatos, carrots, apples, red peppers, popcorn and cheddar cheese with ice water. We will be eating like this from now on, at least for lunch. The TV never came on once. (Neither did any tantrums, outbursts or bad behavior! Hmm...)
It IS funny and ironic how we were just this homeschooling family for over 7 years, who tried school on for a change and now that it is working beautifully for the 2 oldest kids and failing miserably for little Casey, that I find myself feeling all nervous and outcast and shy and even scared to "announce" (?!?!) our radical plans to "everyone". Who gives a flying crap? I think my whole ride on the postpartum depression coaster has still got me a bit shaky as far as changes and self confidence are concerned--but that is improving rapidly, daily, hourly, even. I actually havent been this happy in a very, very long time.
I did note to Steve last night that it is amazing what a HUGE thing school truly, truly is in the community, how it can completley take over the entire life of a family--and how confidently and casually we just didnt participate in it, ever. Now I feel scared and freaky to write the big letter proclaiming that Mister Casey is gonna drop out. LOL. Be Homeschooled. Not be returning. See ya in 3rd grade or something, maybe. I do not anticipate any trouble, but I feel weird and I feel weird about feeling weird--silly, right?
I don't want to have to have some "big explanation" every time we leave the house, but I am going to have to, in a way. See, we have neighbors now, everywhere, in fact, and they are ALL deeply invested in this school system. Coaches, Den Leaders, Volunteers, Helpers, Parents, Friends. They will not "get it" and will want a big story and I am not going to give it to them. So I searched my soul and didn't have to search too deeply to come up with this answer:
Our family thinks that early childhood is spent best in homeschool, and that we can provide a better educational environment for our kids when they are very young. Casey will probably be going to ___Elementary in a year or two.
He had another social run-in yesterday which landed him in the Principal's office. If any of you could possibly, possibly get your hands on any of the books by The Moores that I linked to last post, and read what they have to say about 4, 5 and 6 year olds and even a little bit older being in a age-segregated peer group all day long, and then if you could see and read and follow us as we start our own "school year" here at home, I hope you will agree that we are doing what is truly best for this particular child.
but if not, I guess you will just have to trust that we trust, and believe that we believe...in Casey.
This isn't rash or hasty--only sending him was. I am more excited about this than even back in 2001--I feel more than ready for the challenge(s) ahead. I love my little Casey and am 100% certain that there was not one thing positive going on there for him, and a whole lotta negative stuff that was only just beginning.
Thanks in advance for your support, and, your TRUST. I leave you with my most heartfelt observation/conclusion:
For Casey, School was only a pathetic substitute for home.
For Greta and Mickey, home was becoming pathetic substitute for school.
I feel more certain than ever that little kids do not belong in that environment. I feel more sure than ever that when a child is given a gentle and sheltered --(yes that controversial word that is totally appropriate if not our most important job as parents!--) early childhood filled with a true love of learning and a safe space in which to unfold and unfurl as a person, under the close supervision on a loving dedicated caregiver in a very low adult-to-child ratio, that they can go on to become wonderful, dedicated and committed, connected, self-motivated and solid students in any capacity. We provided that for Mickey and Greta and so we will continue on with the littlest three.
After a few weeks of "de-tox" we do plan on re-joining our local homeschool groups on some of their outings and little classses, field trips, etc.
Tomorrow I think we'll use our zoo pass! Yipee!
10 comments:
Joy, sounds like your decision to re-homeschool Casey is what is best for everyone, especially you and Casey. I still wonder what I will do with Zari when she reaches school age. I don't have ideological leanings, strong ones at least, either way at this point. I really think it will depend on her needs at the time. And on things like finding other cool homeschool families so it's not an entirely solitary venture if that's what I do with her. I have dreams of starting a charter school, maybe Montessori or Waldorf kind of thing, but do I really want to tackle such a huge thing? And is there demand for it in my very small, conservative, traditional Midwestern town?
Yay, Joy!
Don't worry too much about what big story others might want or imagine, I say. You know I know mostly school-schoolers (huh?) in real life, but we keep having various playground conversations along the lines of 'my kid needs one more year at preschool before we send him to K' or 'I wish he could just do another Kindergarten year at his new school, he isn't ready for first grade' or 'she is bored out of her skull but they say she's too young for first grade' etc. It's rampant. You are so right about the folly of segregating by age, especially during these years. 'Kid's not ready' is just a misstatement of 'Curriculum's not appropriate for this child'. It's not like those same kids will be ready for K when they're 8. They'll be ready for something else by then. You caught the right time when Greta and Mickey were ready for formal schooling. And you had the wisdom to know the same is not true about Casey. And you followed through. Way to go!! I applaud you!
As I see more and more of the kindergarten classes at school and talk to the teachers, I see how NOT ready some of the kids are and sadly how things could go very wrong for them. They are learning how to be at school - quiet, lined up, and following directions as a group. And even as a supporter of public schools, it is clear to me that it is not the ideal learning environment for some kids. Unfortunately, for most kids, this is the only choice. Even more sadly, there are some children for whom this is the only "discipline" or structure that they get and the only way that they would ever learn what little academics there are in K.
Casey is lucky that he has an intelligent, loving mother who is willing and able to give him an education at home (and out in the world) in a much more "natural" way. I can't imagine how hard it would be to keep him in a situation that is not what you feel is best for him.
Perfect! Truly. You are, of course, doing exactly the "right" thing meaning that you are living out your commitment to your child/children and validating their individual, unique needs in perfect harmony with your own. That is all the explanation anyone should, ( in a perfect world ) need. You are doing what you and your child need; that is truly the definition of all good parenting in my view. Well done! I love you all.
Perfect! Truly. You are, of course, doing exactly the "right" thing meaning that you are living out your commitment to your child/children and validating their individual, unique needs in perfect harmony with your own. That is all the explanation anyone should, ( in a perfect world ) need. You are doing what you and your child need; that is truly the definition of all good parenting in my view. Well done! I love you all.
I'm so glad you trusted your self on this one. It sounds like the right thing for everyone! I'm finding that trusting your Mama instincts is soo important and usually right. Good for your family! Way to be observant and mindful! I look forward to following your home-schooling adventures as we here too question how we are going to educate our little one.
YES, YES, YES!!! This is exactly right, Joy! I truly believe that little kids do not belong in school, and I find it very sad that the age to start school keeps getting moved up (preschool, pre-preschool). Charlotte Mason had it right in every respect. I love what she had to say about Kindergarten, and really what a waste of time it is.
I'm thrilled that this is working for you.
Rixa, even if you aren't leaning towards homeschooling, Charlotte Mason's books are great books for parenting in general, and teaching in particular.
awesome, so glad to read this. i definitely think you guys are making the right choice.
it's occured to me that my (future) home/unschooled children might want to try out school one day, especially as preteens or teenagers. how do you respect their decision making ability and allow it and not feel like a failure? (i mean that as a general "you") i know that wouldn't really be the case, but i feel like everyone would walk around going "i told you so". know what i mean?
anyway, good for you and casey, definitely a great decision.
oh, and i forgot to say, what could a child that age possibly do that warrants a trip to the principal's office?! that's just so disturbing to me on so many levels. talk about horrible for such a little one, it's no wonder he's been off kilter, how does one that age even conceptualize something like that.
humph.
Good for you and Steve for doing what is best for Casey. Who the hell cares what neighbors think? Everyone who loves you is/should be thinking about what great parents you are! I know Jake and I are.
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